Mysore-eh, Nanu Nale Bartha Idini

Firstly, to the Kannada challenged, Bartha means "Coming" and is not to be confused with "Barqha" (that is causing controversies elsewhere in Europe). I find such incidentally confusing words very interesting. I happened to read a blog where the writer was offering an explanation to his usage of the Telugu word "Repu". He quelled any suspicions of foul language in that context by saying "Repu" meant "Tomorrow", in case anybody thought otherwise. Tangential digress full stop. Coming to the Matter!

I will be in Mysore for two days. No, wait. Technically only about 32 hours as opposed to the 24-hour-day that our astronomers have devised based on earth's rotation (I think earth is always high on alcohol. My god. It keeps rotating all the time). I have always wanted to do the traditional "Wildlife Viewing", "Bird Watching" and the "Explore Heritage-ing" that tourists usually do at Mysore. It is also exciting to see the swords that Tipu Sultan wielded (and the artillery/small arms that Hyder Ali umm..safe guarded in the scabbards) while the mighty English were being taken on time and time again.

I have a short list of things to do. But I am not completely satisfied. If there's anything else that is worthwhile doing at Mysore, please let me know.

1. Extensive Bird watching (in the literal sense and otherwise)
2. Take the sword of Tipu Sultan a have a swipe at guides who cheat firangi tourists by weaving lengthy stories about how Tipu used to be called a "thappu"(mistake) by mistake or how in the puritan sense Hyder Ali was not an "ali" (hermaphrodite) per se or some such thing.
3. Watch animals at you-know-where (For the uninitiated, Mysore has a famous zoo)and try to spot 6 differences between this:



and this:



4. Learn a bit of Mysore Kannada (2 parts Tamil, 1 part Kannada, 1 part Telugu).

5. Explore Mysore's varied heritage by inspecting monument walls beneath a magnifying glass and its striking architectural beauty by using altimeters and levelling instruments.

And Yeah, As I am NOT going with any women squadron on this trip,the sales men at the Mysore Silk Emporiums are saved from a flurry of attackers like the one in the Jackdaws who attacked the Nazis. So they can happily do away with

1. Tough Day at Work
2. Challenging and/or non-understanding female customers
3. Lengthy conversations, but no business
4. All of the Above

P.S: Due credit is being given to Krish Ashok for an inspiration in the style of writing.