Friday, 26 February 2010

Fun/Fact/Fiction: God did make a mistake

Email forwards taken in their entirety are mostly annoying for a person as they bombard the mailbox early in the morning. The explanation here goes that the forwards in most/all cases make no sense or are slap-sticks that cannot be handled so early in the day.

But sun does smile upon one on other occasions and rightly so there are a few which are worth the time in the morning. The argument becomes rock solid when the content vindicates the worth like in this case wherein the content talks about God's only mistake-Women. Read and enjoy

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

My wife and I were happy for twenty years Then we met.

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'


Wednesday, 17 February 2010

Bored??? Google it!!

I got awfully bored of getting bored too often and this time i decided what i would do the next time i get bored. Now, that in no way means that my IT job does not wear me out. It does and it does a royal rape show. But as a routine, man does come back home from work and ends up doing something outside work. So in the two hours that i get every night after getting back from work, I haven't really figured out what i can do with my laptop. I log in to gmail and check out times of india before peeping into facebook and see if anybody did anything worthwhile at all. But as life progresses,these three things get boring and so it did for me. Hence, last night i decided i should find an innovative way of killing this boredom. I did 'Google Search'!!!

Here are a few weird searches that i ended up doing:

I searched for "search" and was shocked to find Bing and among the top few results. Google did not appear in the first page. What would one call this? Modesty? Imbecility? Ignorance? But somebody said there is no "google" in the search results because you've already found google!!! Shocking but true!

And then i got innovative and tried "Donkey Fart". I was shocked by the second result from Urban Dictionary. "Donkey a Fart Eater"?????? It beats me completely!!!! Urrrgghhh

Then i typed "buffalo buffalo" and i hit one of the funniest results : This

I got pissed off with that totally complex wiki page and reacted to it with "poda panni" on the search box. The result?

poda panni Chennai/Madras/சென்னை

Instantaneously i typed "nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" as a reaction to that gross disrespect to the beautiful city of chennai. And you know what? google bombarded me with a string of 'nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo's

Now intentionally, the "noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo" was the last of those search strings. Guess why? Any pissed off reader can now comment with a 'no' containing any number of o's to vent their frustration. :-)

Thursday, 4 February 2010

Cosmological Insanity

The Universe was 'designed' and the most reasonable of the three major theories of the universe (viz.. Big Bang, Big Crunch and Steady State) is the Big Crunch Theory.

In physical cosmology, the Big Crunch is one possible scenario for the ultimate fate of the universe, in which the metric expansion of space eventually reverses and the universe re-collapses, ultimately ending as a black hole singularity. (Link: here)

Now, with the first line of this post as a theory, what follows is a systematic opinion proof of the same.

1. Darwinian evolution is based on the theory of mutation.
2. The causes of mutations that have led to the theory of evolution is the biggest concept of debate for decades now. Atheists argue that the evolution of mankind was by the process of random mutations.
3. Snow flakes, Stalactites, Hurricanes etc(Natural Phenomena) can be classified as 'Processes' which happen on their own without any prior planning. For example,

Water + Cold Air + Gravity + Wind + Time = Snow Flakes

On the other hand, Music, Microsoft Windows, Languages, Information etc are 'Designs', which need some thought and planning. They have representations (notes for music, binary numbers for windows, alphabets for languages). Similarly the basis of life i.e DNA is a design and not a process. DNA contains a sequence of codes that represent a human being and the codes are 'designs' per se. A DNA molecule is a symbolic representation of something other than itself.

Is it possible that an antelope which has a short neck, gradually evolved into a Giraffe which has a long neck? One group of scientists argue that the evolution of a smaller being into a bigger being happened by something called Random Mutations (Check it out here). But random processes do not create codes. Any code that man has discovered till date has been designed by someone. Hence DNA was designed and it was designed by some power (henceforth referred to as God).

Disclaimer: For a more detailed insight into point number 3, watch This - A one hour video.(Point no.3 was derived from/inspired by that video).

4. Now having said that God 'designed' DNA , I would like to move on to the second part of my argument: The Big Crunch Theory
5. Man is a discoverer. If Columbus did not discover America, oriental men would not have known the existence of the west.
6. The DOS operating system evolved into Windows 98, Windows 2000, Windows NT, Windows XP and so on because of the efforts of a few thousand engineers who worked on the betterment of the DOS 'code'. The series of 1s and 0s in the DOS code could not have corrected itself and evolved into the 98' version by some natural random mutation. Hence, with technological developments over time, Man is increasing his ability to create something better than something that was less complex: Now if we draw analogies like : (dos- homo habilis, windows 95 - neanderthals, windows 98 - homo erectus, windows xp - homo sapiens etc)? Strikes a chord doesn't it?
7. Hence if we agree that a super-brilliant God created the complex DNA and man is trying to understand the creation now, a few million years later, Man would be able to design and develop something as complex as that.Look at what man could discover in the 1200 AD and see what man can do in 2020 AD.

With those 7 points in that order, aren't we saying that Mankind would increase his dexterity and powerfulness and will become an all powerful individual (God)?

Now compare that line above to what Big Crunch is all about. It says, the universe expands and one fine day it would compress back into a singularity.

The expansion is the development and evolution of mankind. The compression is the process of man becoming God Himself (by having increased his powers and capabilities). All men converge into one individual with all the abilities.(Imagine if you knew medicine, mechanics,software,biology,literature,music,dance,art etc. etc. etc.-All in one person).

Now isn't that singularity mentioned in Big Crunch so similar to the all powerful Individual person that we talked about? The quest of man if to become God (That is what is preached in Advaita) and the quest of the Universe is to converge into one singular black hole. Aren't they drastically similar?

P.S: The video cited in point number 3 is an amazing video and if one has an hour's time at his disposal, I recommend that one should definitely try watching it completely.

Monday, 1 February 2010

January Round Up

Uneventful Month.Loads of work.The urge to quit becomes stronger.Work for money or work for satisfaction?Had an almost forgettable trip to Sabarimala.No new year celebrations for the first time in 4 or 5 years.Realized how important 'networking' is to our lives.Joined LinkedIn.Improved facebook appearances.Brother enters corporate world.Got new phone.Entered the touch phone arena.Mom n Dad's anniversary.Couldn't make it to chennai on the day because of shitloads of work at my shithole place of work.Went to a pub and watched a full Football match for the first time.Loads of fun.Man United were awesome.Went through millions of ideas to start a business.Nothing took off.First poem on the blog.Got the internship completion cert from the Viewspaper.Got a columnist post offered along with it.Lost money in Kerala.Hence ended month broke.Work sucked big-time.Sad that many more around me feel so too.Got a new Nike shoe.Reading wasn't worthwhile.Didn't manage to do any good at all.Couple of more exams flunked,Like always.Another month void of a trip to Bangalore.Makes it 3 in a row now.Got in touch with few old folks from school and my school time cricket coach.It feels good to get back in touch with people.Improved connections with folks at chennai.watched movies after ages.Avatar and 3 Idiots.Started working out.Though I am sure it wouldn't last for long enough.Enrolled to all job sites in the world and realized none of them are any good whatsoever.February doesn't look promising either.Work.Work.Work.Work.Work.Weekend(alias for work).Overall, when i look back, January was anything but eventful.February isn't any promising either.Will rant about the February failures in the corresponding roundup.