Friday, 7 December 2012

The Grass is Green on the Other Side!

I'm back! or so it feels. I thought of a better come back line because this one was a particularly long hiatus from this chirpy world of small talk and polarized opinions, but couldn't do better. A come back line is more of an irony at this juncture as I would not summarize my current state of affairs as anything like the one of Earl of Emsworth after the Shropshire race for instance. It's placement season here after all. Nevertheless, I am back to writing and it feels good.Similar emotions with the title of this post as I was wondering what to name it. Cliched as it sounds, a truer word was never spoken.

The "grass" is greener on the other side. Is there a better time for the avid blogger to make a comeback than placement time at b-school? Probably not. But I ain't going to whine here as one would expect from a lesser soul than mine. It's a matter of time before the curtains would roll down on this one year roller coaster ride called b-school and I have mixed feelings about it. Sucking blood is an amusing hobby by any standards. Vampires used to do that notoriously as they say in many a folktale. But this one called b school is adept at sucking blood even more than the vampires. This bubble reminds me of that carnivorous island in the movie "Life of Pi". One makes merry now and one is left gaping for breath the next moment. It's an amusing place to say the least.

Talking of greenery and grass (as I rightly should after naming it so), though they could mean one and the same thing in some sense of the words, they are two entirely different concoctions when looked at from the "other side". The "other side" is an amusing place to be or so I understand from people who tell me to look at it from thither. Think about grades. There is the other side called learning. Think about a job shortlist, there is the other side called long term prospects. Think about money. There is the other side called true happiness. What I fail to understand in these analogies is how people flip the coin to see it from the so called other side.

I remember this day when I was in school, vividly, for various reasons. The girl I used to have a thing for during that time was moving out of town. I guess her father was in the army or something and at that time call of duty came from an "other side" of the country. So they were moving to Mizoram or some such place which I failed to place on the map during that time, thanks to me being geographically challenged. I would deceive one if I said I am any better now. But for one thing, it was far away from Bangalore, where I was picking shells at that point in life. The incredible thing about this girl under scrutiny was that she was the most beautiful thing on earth back in the day and many eyeballs rolled at her sight. I use the word incredible carefully here because, among all the eligible boys in class, she chose to do combined studies with me. Stressing upon the wise usage of the term incredible in this particular context, I would like to bring to the reader's notice here that I had a head in the shape of a full onion at that time and my brains were slightly better than that of a cauliflower by any standards. Incredible, when I come to think why she chose me! But all's not fair in this world of jerks and morons and so be it. The point here is that her last day in school was a melancholic one of sorts for many a soul. I was sobbing when I thought of the next term after summer break and the dark clouds seemed to close in faster than I could imagine. Then an interesting thing happened. It involved my best pal from school, who I hang out with solely for image pepping purposes. If my head was the shape of an onion, his was more like a soda bottle, if you get my drift. He told me many things at length, but I don't recollect much of it since it was more nonsensical than one would imagine. But one thing that he said made sense to me. He told me to look at the neighbor's lawn, the other girl from section b who was better looking, healthier and overall greener in order to forget the loss of this one.

There is always scope for some free advice to say things like there's other stuff on the other side and all that sort of gibberish. But the problem here is that it is frigging easy to say things like these (happens often in the b school classroom too, especially with these strategy professors) and bloody difficult to make anything of it.

So the story, for the curious, ended on a sad note and as I grew up, the onion on top of me grew into more of the beetroot kind and I lost chances if any to hold on to a beautiful girl since then.

The point is that this other side argument is complete bull crap and I wouldn't buy it for as cheap as dirt. But the thing about "grass" and the greenery has amused me to some extent. The other day I was reading a Wodehouse since I was completely demoralized due to a sequence of events here at b school and I came across this thing about greenery. Most of Britain according to Wodehouse tales is covered by lush green lawns with a lake here and there and beautiful couples strolling with their Pomeranian.

The part that is amusing is that they always have an air around them, these people from those country side castles. They seem to own excessively large chunks of property and sit on filthy piles of cash that their daily schedules look like this:

Wake up for the breakfast gong,
Eat till the chicken yells from inside the stomach,
Look at the blue sky and pass a comment or two about the weather,
go to the library and pick up a book like "How to fool the princess at the castle" or some such piece of literature,
Wait for the lunch gong,
Repeat step 2,
Go for an afternoon siesta,
Wake up for an evening stroll with some gorgeous girl who also sits on a pile of cash,
Wait for the dinner gong,
Double up the efforts and perform step 2 even better,
Repeat step 1.

When will I get to engage in such routine? Will I ever get to? As greedy as I sound, that is what one would secretly wish for. Let's face it (as my room mate here would put it). It is so funny to be dreaming of such things when one is fighting to get a shortlist (let alone a job) for a handsome pay package to pay off the huge loans post b school. But nonetheless, I want to live like those characters in Wodehouse (on the "other side" of the ocean :-P)

I said I wouldn't whine, but here I am whining in front of you, but only for two really really sound reasons.
1. There is no brighter other side. period.
2. The greens are a mirage they don't seem to up the mood anyway.

Screw the green, screw the sides, Cheer up! For in times such as these, there is "grass" (a soft pillow from mother nature to sleep on, if you got the message wrong!!!)

P.S: As lame as this post would sound, I request for some concern and pity owing to the long gap in writing. Thou shall only get better.