Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Super Human Samurai Mr Ganesh!

All of us have come across history books in our early years at school and have gained a lot of information from those compilations of accounts from the past. One thing that I, as a student, have always felt is  that someone who has lived/is living in a fame-producing or notable lifestyle is 4/5 on odds to make it to one of those history books that we get to read. So, those like Genghis Khan, Adolf Hitler, Mother Teresa and Mahatma Gandhi have lived one such in their times. Likewise, there is going to be one other interesting character (fictitious to atheists of course) to go into the records. He is Mr Ganesh, son of Mr Siva and brother of Mr Murugan. So there we are, our own Lord Ganesha is making it to the shelves. The reason? He has made it to the current affairs book shelf already. What we have been practising for generations since childhood is now packaged by Yale University School of Medicine as Super Brain Yoga. Guess what the aim of that course is? To increase intelligence. Now this kind of thing is getting too banal. So many instances of deja vu for people from India who know about Indian tradition and culture quite a bit. The fight for patenting Turmeric is one that comes from the recent memory cache. The one about inventing zero and the one about lessons in astrology are other instances of this "We know it already" phenomenon.

What amuse me are the terms that we, modern men, employ for such findings that we think we have just invented. For example, this one, Super Brain Yoga, is defined as a technique that is based on ear acupuncture and subtle energy (Pranic Healing and Yoga have already displayed a good number of variations using this technique.) Other interesting factor about these things is the "Pilot studies" that go into such researches. Pilot studies on this one was conducted on school children with disabilities such as ADHD/ADD, developmental and cognitive delays, Down syndrome and specific learning disabilities. Now why do we have to do all this pilot thing and fly aircrafts in the sky? Rather just tell yourself to blindly listen to your aging dad and mom. Time and again they've proved that the lessons and the practices that they try to inculcate are of real value. I am not here for a sermon. Let me narrate what I used to think when my mom told me to do the "Pillayar Thopukaranam" while I was a kid.
I took it as lots of weird ear-rubbing, temple feeling kinda movements and stuff. Never really made sense to me. But then, how right were they after all.

Now to the science behind that thing. Some energy centers in our body are sites or centers for psychic faculties. When activation of certain energy centers occurs, they can even result in the development of certain psychic faculties. The right ear lobe corresponds to the left brain. The left ear lobe corresponds to the right brain. When the right ear lobe is gently squeezed with the left thumb and left index finger with the thumb outside, it produces the necessary energy connection. This connection causes the left brain and pituitary gland to become energized and activated. Similarly, when the left ear lobe is gently squeezed with the right thumb and right index finger with the thumb outside, it produces the necessary energy connection, which causes the right brain and pineal gland to become energized and activated. (Excerpt from the official site of the super brain yoga)

So something there uh! For people who still think all of this is just crap and bull shit, Yale wouldn't be fooling around unless it has something resembling 'substance' to say the least. So here's for people who want to subscribe to some yogi or baba (as they are famous these days) to teach you the "art of super brain yoga" or some such equally oblivious area of study. Just cut the crap, breathe deep and rub your ears on your own, without having to send money to a scammy person.(just like your mom told you to, while at the theru oram pillayar kovil (Ganesha Temple at the street corner)).

Shall we start now ????
No, you don't need to pay me for it.!

Right Hand to left ear, left hand to right ear......
..bend knee.....
I am not a good teacher. take a look at the thing here

P.S : You can spot me at that corner temple more often starting now, as I am on the job already. The job of becoming super intelligent. One like Shaktimaan or Sherlock Holmes anyone?

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

I am going on an indefinite hunger strike!

These are testing times, the ones that we live in..this day, in this age. The uncommon are becoming the common and man is rediscovering his own, true self by doing what his so-called uncivilized ancestors did during the ages of kings and kingdoms. Anna Hazare's fast, it must be said, has created prospects for lively debate and enthralling discussion. His, and his supporters' basic idea is to incorporate extra-constitutional methods into the dynamics of today's politics and democracy. But the question is whether such displays of peaceful revolts and fast-unto-death stunts subvert democracy to any minor extent. The answer IMHO is no.

The one that followed is even more interesting. The emperor of a 1000 crore yoga empire triggered an agitation on lines very similar to the previous one by Anna Hazare. The major difference being the amount of practicality in the demands laid down on the table in either cases. This and such things which are more to come in the years to follow pique me to a very large extent. More so, when they align with the order of the day in this modern world full of Egyptian uproars, Yemeni agitations and Libyan protests. So, to be frank, I am actually amused by this idea of going on fasts and strikes. It is an unnerving display under the holy banner called representational democracy. Prima Facie, the idea is a thought provoking one. When elected representatives cannot act as the voice of their electorate, the representatives (part of the electorate) shall take the sword. Here in one such instance, I have taken the pen, which we all know from the adage, is mightier than the sword. So I am going on an indefinite hunger strike until my demands below are met.

1. I want my boss to give me some peace of mind everyday at work.
2. I want to inherit a non-existing, 100 crore fortune from my dad right here right now.
3. I want a 40% hike in my next performance appraisal cycle.
4. I want a loyalty bonus, amounting to 10% CTC marking every year's completion at my workplace.
5. I want a promotion.
6. I want good weather in Chennai, for 8 out of twelve months in a year.
7. I want to date that hot chick who coos on the phone during those weekly client meetings.
8. I want to work from home 4 days a week. (I'd show up at work on all thursdays, when we have that client call)
9. I don't want someone else to set deadlines for projects that I am involved in.
10. I want my boss's boss's boss to reprimand my boss's boss. He is not behaving like I would expect him to.
11. I want to make a trip to Switzerland in the month of may next year. I would like it to be funded by my company.
12. I don't like the color of my HP Compaq monitor at work. I want a macbook instead.
13. My Sony Ericsson mobile phone fell into a bucket of water recently. Though I got it repaired for 1300 bucks, I want a new IPhone 4. I am not happy with a scarred piece.
14. I want the option to outsource the work I get and get cuttings for them.
15. I want to eat Double Cheese Margherita from Dominos before I go on to write the 16th point on this bucket list.
16a. (I'm still waiting for my pizza. Please revisit the previous point before proceeding)
16b. I saw my neighbor go to work on an Audi Q5. I am not a greedy person. Hence i am asking only for an Audi Q4. Note the difference. Not a 5. 4 would do.
17. I want my company to fund that business idea of mine (the one on that concept coffee shop) as part of their ingenious ideas funding policy.
18. I would like to be relieved from my current job once that business discussed above breaks even.
19. I want my best friend who is getting married sometime soon to visit me every weekend even after his doomsday.
20. I want my company to look into the above 19 points and sign on the dotted line on or before my appraisal date.


Disclaimer : I am going on an indefinite hunger fast, if you had forgotten about that particular fact. As a result, I would not sleep for more than 10 hours a day, will not eat more than 4 times a day, will not visit office/office related people until the fast is called off, will not open Eclipse IDE even on my personal laptop, will uninstall VPN client that enables the work from home option.

In addition, I will have to be paid an inconvenience charge for all that I am enduring in the testing times that are going to follow this full stop here.

P.S : My fast begins. Followers can queue up behind that red sofa which is diagonally opposite that LCD TV in my a/c bedroom. A humble request to prospective followers. Please practice ahimsa. We live in a democratic country fathered by MKG.