Friday, 30 April 2010

Mysore-eh, Nanu Nale Bartha Idini

Firstly, to the Kannada challenged, Bartha means "Coming" and is not to be confused with "Barqha" (that is causing controversies elsewhere in Europe). I find such incidentally confusing words very interesting. I happened to read a blog where the writer was offering an explanation to his usage of the Telugu word "Repu". He quelled any suspicions of foul language in that context by saying "Repu" meant "Tomorrow", in case anybody thought otherwise. Tangential digress full stop. Coming to the Matter!

I will be in Mysore for two days. No, wait. Technically only about 32 hours as opposed to the 24-hour-day that our astronomers have devised based on earth's rotation (I think earth is always high on alcohol. My god. It keeps rotating all the time). I have always wanted to do the traditional "Wildlife Viewing", "Bird Watching" and the "Explore Heritage-ing" that tourists usually do at Mysore. It is also exciting to see the swords that Tipu Sultan wielded (and the artillery/small arms that Hyder Ali guarded in the scabbards) while the mighty English were being taken on time and time again.

I have a short list of things to do. But I am not completely satisfied. If there's anything else that is worthwhile doing at Mysore, please let me know.

1. Extensive Bird watching (in the literal sense and otherwise)
2. Take the sword of Tipu Sultan a have a swipe at guides who cheat firangi tourists by weaving lengthy stories about how Tipu used to be called a "thappu"(mistake) by mistake or how in the puritan sense Hyder Ali was not an "ali" (hermaphrodite) per se or some such thing.
3. Watch animals at you-know-where (For the uninitiated, Mysore has a famous zoo)and try to spot 6 differences between this:

and this:

4. Learn a bit of Mysore Kannada (2 parts Tamil, 1 part Kannada, 1 part Telugu).

5. Explore Mysore's varied heritage by inspecting monument walls beneath a magnifying glass and its striking architectural beauty by using altimeters and levelling instruments.

And Yeah, As I am NOT going with any women squadron on this trip,the sales men at the Mysore Silk Emporiums are saved from a flurry of attackers like the one in the Jackdaws who attacked the Nazis. So they can happily do away with

1. Tough Day at Work
2. Challenging and/or non-understanding female customers
3. Lengthy conversations, but no business
4. All of the Above

P.S: Due credit is being given to Krish Ashok for an inspiration in the style of writing.

Monday, 26 April 2010

Do I really know what I need in life?

This is a thought that has been spinning my head for quite some time now. Me and my close circle of friends (read: my girl friend) discuss a lot over this topic and have been cribbing over how we want to change the typical IT lifestyle that we currently have. We have clearly realized that our goals in life are quite far from what we are doing right now. As in most cases of human predicaments, we talk a lot about it but haven't been able to get a concrete step taken in the right direction.

Let's consider my daily schedule. My Monday starts like a scene from the movie rush hour, where i realize that I have a stupid meeting to attend at 10 AM (wee hours of Monday I would call that) and this aforementioned realization usually happens around the time frame of 9:25 AM or so. After making it to the meeting at least 10 minutes late, I extend my nap in the conference room only to be awakened by periodic gurgles from the organizer sitting next to me. After a lot of deliberation and almost nil participation, I get out of the room for a cup of tea to stimulate my grey matter. The day goes by with a couple of fights with the disastrously slow computer which is my lone companion for the day. After a few hours of #including and ClassA-extends-ClassB-ing, I get out of the shit hole like a tired pugilist who has fought 5 rounds only to lose it all during the final stages. It would be like deceiving my readers if I said the time of the day when my exit from office happens marks the end of the day. To put facts straight i should rephrase that sentence to read "End of the Night".

If weekdays are so boring and pass me like a turbulent storm, weekends are worse. I get up fairly early in the morning(read: 11 am) and spend a substantial amount of time thinking what I should do over the weekend. With that thought doing all the calculations in my mind, the clock decides to tick something like 1 pm or 2 pm and there's a call from my gastro-intestinal tract to save it from dying of hunger. After dealing with things and managing to call off that hunger strike, English Premier League/Indian Premier League or some such league demands an attendance and I sit glued to my TV set for what I think is close to 2 or 3 hours. But in fact, the time I would have spent on that ordeal is much more.... which in turn means that it is time for the next meal so as to avoid another turbulent attack from my digestive faculties. With a ditto repeat of the same itinerary on Sunday, I face the rocket-speed-weekend-that's-close-to-an-end phenomenon. With nothing much that can be done about it, I go back to bed ruing my 2 wasteful days only to wake up for a repeat telecast in the next week.

I am not any soothsayer or fortune predictor. But I am pretty confident that most IT folks are stuck with the same/similar kind of schedule in their daily life.

On one such Sunday, that has been well described above, I happened to read a book by Paulo Coelho where he talks about what one does in life and how a winner is determined by the essence of his presence (excuse me for the rhyme) in this universe. I wake up the next morning to welcome another dreadful Monday and I realize that one thing has changed. I wake up a completely new man and realize i have a drastic change in attitude and outlook. That situation demands some explanation. I agree. Here it goes. The change that has been mentioned above is that I start to think "If I really know what I need in life". I know that is not a change per se. But as our experienced ancestors have repeatedly said, thoughts lead to actions and all that sort of a thing, It is always a good sign in the right direction if we start thinking about challenging the status quo that rules over us. But that thought took me nowhere which is an unfortunate thing and I ended up understanding the fact that I just simply exist in this world and occupy a corner of it like other stones, rocks and trees do.Period. I am sure a good number of IT folks who have managed to make it to this point of the long and boring passage will resonate on the same plane apropos the thoughts I have shared.

But the sad part is I am looking for someone to show me the way to correct this awfully boring lifestyle and I have not met anyone who can show some light at the end of the tunnel in that respect. Any thoughts?

P.S: Ok I have been tortured by an abysmal young blot who wants a mention in this post. Where I said: "I have not met anyone who can show some light at the end of the tunnel", I should have said "I have met someone(This Idiot) who could not show any light at the end of any tunnel even after hours and hours of gyan and free advice he gave me."

Thursday, 8 April 2010

Long time no see...but what a sad result that is supposed to be

After a long hiatus due to unavoidable reasons like disinterest, laziness, IPL, Football etc.. I am unable to control myself from penning down a few thoughts after Man United's shabby exit from the Champions League'10.

1. The risk that was involved in choosing to start Rafael backfired disastrously. Inexperience from him. The Neviller would have kept it 11 vs 11. But I am convinced the Germans enacted a stage play to influence the referee into the booking. It was 35 yards from goal and not many referees would have decided to hand the red.

2. Franck Ribery is not worth 45 million by any standards. He looked like a pot of shit.

3. Sir Alex would rue the miss in the signing of Arjen Robben when he was unsettled at Chelsea.

4. Carrick took a huge role in both the goals that the Germans scored and was instrumental in assisting them. He did that in great fashion. He has repeatedly shown he is not the United class in any sense. Pack him off please and where the hell is that man Hargreaves?

5. Could Nani be the next sensation at Manchester? He looks to be emulating Ronaldo in the build up to a bright United career.

6. Starting Rooney as a surprise was a tactically bold move and surely inflicted a moral defeat to the germans even before the game. But after 3 - 0 up at 40'' and while the lad is limping heavily and the rest are not passing to him, where the hell is the doubt? It was clearly time to remove him. United were rest assured at that point and were playing some good football only to lose the chances because their forward was limping.

7. Having criticized Rafael for his imbecile act, it should not be forgotten that he scared the shit out of Ribery and gave him no space whatsoever. His excellence in having achieved that in the 50 minutes that he played was one major reason the germans surrounded the referee.

8. So Sans Ronaldo what we can win is the Carling Cup only?

9. England is out of the Champions league with that result and what does it explain? Sir Alex, Wenger, Benitez..can you please stop selling the best players from the league? Ronaldo, Alonso, Flamini.....

10. How good will it feel to be a Barcelona fan right now? The only possible threat to their successive triumphs has been brushed aside. Now what?The catalans can go and party. It is in the bag already!

11. Olic has the kind of face that you feel like punching till it gets out of shape. He is such a sore in the eyes of a United fan. Sigh!!

12. This result is a lesson to Fleet Street because that explains to them..There are really good teams outside England and specifically out of London.

13. And finally, let's not try to hide facts...Messi is the best player in the world by a mile and if any english team wants to contend that fact, I don't see any ray of hope. It is plain on paper. English football is on the decline.

Having said that, I wouldn't stop supporting England for the World Cup this year, I am hopeful...Fabio Capello can turn it around...