Friday, 29 April 2011

Beat the man to it!

"All my life I've wanted to eat strawberries in the middle of winter.Get me a basket of strawberries before the end of the month and we'll take up this matrimonial proposition of yours in a spirit of serious research." said Clarice.
"Strawberries?" said Mervyn.
Mervyn gulped a little.
"But I say dash it! Strawberries?"
"Strawberries" said Clarice.
And then at last Mervyn,reading between the lines,saw that what she wanted was strawberries.
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Thursday, 28 April 2011

Not there yet, Try Again

It was not the first time,
That the thing was close to reach.
The wind pilfered that valuable possession from the trembling hands of mine.
Life, by and large, holds many a lesson, and offers to teach.

Strewn on the path of this journey called 'Life'.
Are the flowers that meet your eye from the face of mother earth.
Wise are those who spot the ones that are fresh among the rife.
But they are aplenty, there is no dearth.

Pick the ones that come your way and keep the stride going,
Never give up if the flowers meant for you are not fragrant.
There are many more for you, waiting.
Try, try, try, because Thee rewards he who is diligent.

Monday, 18 April 2011

Monk! I need a Monk!

Well, I've lost almost all of the motivation I had under my tray in this big ordeal called life. I mean, I am not that drugs kinda person. So I have nothing too specific to attribute this one to. I have been riding with this level of motivation (or lack thereof) for about a month and a bit longer now. I am part of the many crazy people on earth who love their cars. Old or New. To add to what I have been going through in the recent past, I ran into a mind block this morning when I drove my car alongside the apartment gate and bought myself a rather nasty scratch on its nice and glittery red clothing. Like the way J.D.Salinger puts it in his epic novel, I think I'd rather have a Goddamn Horse instead of this one.

The feeling of nihilism is one that is a superlative of what I am currently going through. I know it is not that bad with me. I did try out a couple of those traditional approaches of getting over these mind blocks. Once I came out of it like I never cared about anything in life. I thought there wasn't much to worry about in terms of job, love, money et. al. But then, these things grow upon you. Even a slight-ish impact on your state of mind like the one I had this morning is good enough to add salt to the wound. The  picture of those long white marks keep flashing in my mind ever since and I am not able to get out of it.

These phases in one's life, by and large, tend to make one lose hope on oneself. You can go out under the sun and start dancing to your favorite tune or sit down on a couch at the bar and sip your favorite whisky with soda. But it doesn't work like any sort of magic. I've tried drinking 2 cups of tea each time I go to the corner store. I've tried losing my mind to some lengthy hours of cleaning ordeals around the house. I've even tried to go out to the beach to untangle my mind from what is currently holding it. I know these things aren't going to give any motivation to fill the void that I am referring to. But I expected them to get my mind out of the logjam. In vain.

Socializing/Finding someone to love have been agreed upon as good options out of these nasty situations. But in my case they aren't helping either. I kind of have a screen in front of my facade that filters the good energy out of what touches upon me in day to day life. It is not about the career/job. It is not about the lack of love. It is about something else that I am trying to figure out. I always believed the culprit in my case was, more often than not, the idle time that has filled most of my agenda sheet in the last months. But trying to keep me engrossed in conversations didn't help either. So I am ruling that out of question too. One intriguing thing that is probably still inscrutable to me is the fact that in this period, markedly, I had a number of unrelated and random dreams. Different and more in number than usual. I think it comes down to saying that the mind is preoccupied with something else and is not able to negotiate with its subconscious brother.

The emotional snapshots that these dreams give me are probably arising out of a good number of unanswered questions in the mind that the subconscious of mine is not able to handle. These blocks have been a burden for quite some time for me. And they've more or less made me retire from a few things that I used to keep myself busy with in life. I am totally idle. I think I need some food for my brain, mind and body.

Thursday, 7 April 2011

That thing that never makes itself clear

Let's imagine for a moment that a guy named John is attracted to a woman named Lisa. First real meeting, when they actually get to talk to each other, he asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, it works like magic once again. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. Right, we have it in our hands now. The short guide to making a relationship out of a mere attraction. But that is not the point.

One day, when they are getting back home after a joy filled evening that comprised of a wonderful beach outing, romantic dinner et al., Lisa, who is sitting on the front seat of the car that John is driving, turns towards him and asks him "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?". And then there is silence in the car. To her, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself - "I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. May be he is giving a thought to the fact that it all happened in a whisker, totally unnoticed. May be he thinks I am taking a serious stance here and feels I am pushing for something which is not frivolous for once, something that is kind of an obligation that he doesn't want or isn't sure of?".

John is thinking about that day. Six months past.

Lisa is thinking over it too. She begins to feel she doesn't want this kind of a guy or this kind of a relationship may be. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward...

John goes back to February when it all started when he was getting his car back from the first free service. Oooh! it's about time the next one is due.

Lisa is confused. The way she perceives things from what she sees on his face is changing. "May be he wants more from this relationship. May be he wants to call it off, but is riding on just to keep it smooth between us. May be he has figured out my reservations in the relationship hitherto."

The car is on its way for its second set of chores in the free service cycle. John and Lisa driven to the beach-way for a cup of coffee.They've found themselves a nice and cozy seat for themselves. They are sitting juxtaposed.

Lisa is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure.

And John is thinking: The gear box has been such a failure ever after the first service. Is it under warranty? They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. I can't take a huge bill if I have to end up paying for that malfunction.

And Lisa is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

There's silence for an annoyingly long while.

And then Lisa shouts "John!!!!!!"

"What???" says John, startled.

"Please don't put yourself through so much pain." says Lisa. "Please don't torture yourself like this. May be I shouldn't have....Oh God, I feel so....argh..."

She breaks down. Uncontrollable tears flowing down her cheeks.

"I'm such a fool," Lisa sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse.".

"There's no horse?" says John.

There is a long pause yet again.

"You really feel that way?", says Lisa, deeply touched.

"What way" says John.

"That way about the long wait filled with inaction???", says Lisa.

"Oh yes, I should've done something about it way back". says John.

Then he drops her home and goes to the station to give his car for service. He reasons with the manager and manages to get the repairs covered under the warranty.

Lisa calls her friend (or may be two of them, one after another) and explains the situation. She explains how John had kept his feelings to himself exactly like she had suspected.

John goes back home and switches on his TV to catch up with the Champions League clash between Man U and Chelsea. There's about 3 minutes to go. So he switches to CNN-IBN and checks out what's turned out with Gaddafi and Libya and the rest of the western world in general. He tunes in to the game right in time and has his pack of pop corn and his cup of iced lemon tea near his couch and leans back for one and a half hours of unadulterated bliss. Yet, a tiny voice from the back of his mind enquires about the confusing discussion that he had with Lisa at the beach today. He will never be able to make sense of what she was talking about. What knight was it? Sigh! Not my cup of tea.

The next morning when John talks to Peter, one mutual friend of his and Lisa's, he asked if Peter knew of any pet horse that Lisa used to keep during her childhood???..

The End...

It will never work out between a girl and a boy. I mean that thing called a relationship. To hell with it. None of them can understand what's going on in the other's mind.!

Men like their bike/car so much that they can't keep them away even for a short while.

Women need reassurance a little more than men.

Men need football a lot more than women.

P.S : This work of fiction is not entirely my own. It's a tailored version of a famous story about an unspoken dialogue between men and women.

Tuesday, 5 April 2011

16 Conclusions after the WC final

I love the idea of 16 conclusions after each football weekend (mostly the big ones) on football365 and I thought it is worth doing one after the biggest thing in cricketing history for India. Here it goes....

1. Sachin, thank you for bringing it at last. You might have failed in the final match. But it was under your guidance that the chaps could pull it off

2. Kirsten, You are just Legen....wait for it.....dary

3. Gambhir, Salute, what an innings..but next time apply some thought to personal accolades too. Now you've lost a massive chance to tell your grand children about that one century

4. Zak, You are still the best bowler we have had in the past decade. It's ok to leak a few runs like you did towards the end. You gave the dream start anyways

5. Do not call for a review again in your life Mr Sehwhack, unless Sachin tells you to.

6. Virat, you have the class. We are waiting for your time to come. You will take center-stage one day.

7. Dilshan, you took a brilliant catch, but then stop shouting those dirty things. Takes the class out of that brilliant moment when you grabbed it.

8. Sang, were a gentleman, unlike Shahid, who blew it after reaching home.

9. Malinga, try a hair cut...might work out for the next final. Your team can't lose three in a row.

10. Mr Srikanth, Never ever pick Mr. Santhakumaran for a one day cricket match.

11. Ashwin, I like your down to earth approach. Do not get heavy anytime and there's future.

12. Yuvi, you were the most aggressive in this tournament. You were just loved and I am sure your roster of female fans is going to reach the size of the 2G scam initial report that the CBI have submitted for the judges to read (80000 pages)

13. Captain Cool, Don't listen to Musharaf. See, it paid off....(P.S : I ve turned gay since April 2, 2011 after that six and that head tonsure.)

14. Indian team, Our domination has just begun. The country wants to keep this going for longer than the Australians kept it with them.

15. Virat Kohli's statement about carrying the master on our shoulders was the best of all reactions that day. Goosebumps...Really!!!

16. Readers, we've bleeded really light blue...and that has worked...time to bleed yellow now...Bring on the bharat bandh!