Tuesday, 7 June 2011

I am going on an indefinite hunger strike!

These are testing times, the ones that we live in..this day, in this age. The uncommon are becoming the common and man is rediscovering his own, true self by doing what his so-called uncivilized ancestors did during the ages of kings and kingdoms. Anna Hazare's fast, it must be said, has created prospects for lively debate and enthralling discussion. His, and his supporters' basic idea is to incorporate extra-constitutional methods into the dynamics of today's politics and democracy. But the question is whether such displays of peaceful revolts and fast-unto-death stunts subvert democracy to any minor extent. The answer IMHO is no.

The one that followed is even more interesting. The emperor of a 1000 crore yoga empire triggered an agitation on lines very similar to the previous one by Anna Hazare. The major difference being the amount of practicality in the demands laid down on the table in either cases. This and such things which are more to come in the years to follow pique me to a very large extent. More so, when they align with the order of the day in this modern world full of Egyptian uproars, Yemeni agitations and Libyan protests. So, to be frank, I am actually amused by this idea of going on fasts and strikes. It is an unnerving display under the holy banner called representational democracy. Prima Facie, the idea is a thought provoking one. When elected representatives cannot act as the voice of their electorate, the representatives (part of the electorate) shall take the sword. Here in one such instance, I have taken the pen, which we all know from the adage, is mightier than the sword. So I am going on an indefinite hunger strike until my demands below are met.

1. I want my boss to give me some peace of mind everyday at work.
2. I want to inherit a non-existing, 100 crore fortune from my dad right here right now.
3. I want a 40% hike in my next performance appraisal cycle.
4. I want a loyalty bonus, amounting to 10% CTC marking every year's completion at my workplace.
5. I want a promotion.
6. I want good weather in Chennai, for 8 out of twelve months in a year.
7. I want to date that hot chick who coos on the phone during those weekly client meetings.
8. I want to work from home 4 days a week. (I'd show up at work on all thursdays, when we have that client call)
9. I don't want someone else to set deadlines for projects that I am involved in.
10. I want my boss's boss's boss to reprimand my boss's boss. He is not behaving like I would expect him to.
11. I want to make a trip to Switzerland in the month of may next year. I would like it to be funded by my company.
12. I don't like the color of my HP Compaq monitor at work. I want a macbook instead.
13. My Sony Ericsson mobile phone fell into a bucket of water recently. Though I got it repaired for 1300 bucks, I want a new IPhone 4. I am not happy with a scarred piece.
14. I want the option to outsource the work I get and get cuttings for them.
15. I want to eat Double Cheese Margherita from Dominos before I go on to write the 16th point on this bucket list.
16a. (I'm still waiting for my pizza. Please revisit the previous point before proceeding)
16b. I saw my neighbor go to work on an Audi Q5. I am not a greedy person. Hence i am asking only for an Audi Q4. Note the difference. Not a 5. 4 would do.
17. I want my company to fund that business idea of mine (the one on that concept coffee shop) as part of their ingenious ideas funding policy.
18. I would like to be relieved from my current job once that business discussed above breaks even.
19. I want my best friend who is getting married sometime soon to visit me every weekend even after his doomsday.
20. I want my company to look into the above 19 points and sign on the dotted line on or before my appraisal date.


Disclaimer : I am going on an indefinite hunger fast, if you had forgotten about that particular fact. As a result, I would not sleep for more than 10 hours a day, will not eat more than 4 times a day, will not visit office/office related people until the fast is called off, will not open Eclipse IDE even on my personal laptop, will uninstall VPN client that enables the work from home option.

In addition, I will have to be paid an inconvenience charge for all that I am enduring in the testing times that are going to follow this full stop here.

P.S : My fast begins. Followers can queue up behind that red sofa which is diagonally opposite that LCD TV in my a/c bedroom. A humble request to prospective followers. Please practice ahimsa. We live in a democratic country fathered by MKG.


Arjun said...

Seri aana Psycho da nee..

Pradeep Sekhar said...

@Arjun : Pinna enna da! Siru pulla thanama irukku....rascal..avan avan kathi edukaran!

ravi said...

Macha, I am fully with you on this. Do you want me to bring in RSS support?

vagabond911 said...

Pradeep 'Saffron' Sekhar!! What happened to the Hardcore RSSian inside you?? Where is my 'Hindu' Terrorist who believed in the 'Taj Mahal is an age old Temple' forward!? Those Secret Meetings Dressed in Khakhi Shorts and Khadi Topi in the dinghy lanes of Pilani!

PS: All your demands might come true except the 19th one.

Pradeep Sekhar said...

@Ravi: Welcome, Welcome, RSS support irukku...al qaeda, lashkar e toiba, jaish e mohammed..indha mari edhadh support irundha kondu vanga....illena indha thoni thalayanunga thirundha matanunga

Pradeep Sekhar said...

@Vageesh: Please do not trigger violence by bringing in religion into this serious issue!I am secular!. And that Khaki shorts and khadi topi are in the loft...don't make a need for me to take them out!mind you

Terror said...

I will support you fast by changing my FB status- (Inline with what ppl did when anna hazare fasted)
Boy to girl:
"Hey, did u know i contributed to stopping correction"
"Wow, how did u do that??"
"Well, I changed my FB status sitting in my AC office, asked ppl to like my status and even Joined Anna Hazare Page"
"U are awesome! I Love You"

Pradeep Sekhar said...

@Terror : nee avlo than worth nu ellarkum theriyum :P