Kannalam (Marriage) Matters!!

Yes, I am talking about those crazy Indian Weddings. More specifically the ones from the south.(No favoritism, I've not been to any North Indian ones till now. So i don't know. Promise.) How can one not love these weddings? For one thing, they bring a lot of life to the air which is filled with smoke from the sacrificial fire. For others, the Mama shouting mantras from the top of his voice, complete strangers saying Hi and asking you to identify them. But every good thing has its downside. It is not a tough thing after all. It is all probabilities, NpR's and NcR's. Shoot some names that come to your mind. These south indian names aren't myriad. You are sure to hit the right one.

Talking of these marriages, I witnessed one yesterday. The first one of its kind. It happened on the ROAD!!!. Me and my room mates were wondering since friday night as to what the preparations that kept happening in our neighbor's out-house(out of the house to be precise) were for. I mean, the sea of people setting up pandals and dealing with coconut leaves. We got our answer at 4:00 AM on Sunday morning. Yes 4:00 AM. As most of you would have expected i was sleeping and i was in the middle of a dream. But our Mama(Purohit) decided to show his expertise and chose to shout all his Mamo Parthaa's and Mangalyam Thanthunanetha's using a MIKE. I woke up and went to check out what was happening and to my surprise, I saw a marriage ceremony underway. It wasn't long before my roomies woke up to their horror and realized what was happening. The first thing we did after we were awoken by this was to walk down from our second floor apartment and find out how many were there for the function. Obviously a thing to do on such occasions on the road. The marriage party had set up huge pandals and blocked the road from all directions. There were about a hundred people to bless the bride and groom who were seated on a dais in the middle of the road.
Suddenly my friend who is a voracious non vegetarian asked me.

"Machan(A multifaceted word that in the literal sense means Wife's brother), Andha Aadu Koottam enga da? Nethi oru kootam pathome?" (Where is that herd of goats we saw last night?)

We were searching frantically for those distinguished guests amidst the sea of people when i heard one of them call out to me. I looked around. I couldn't spot the voice. I looked down. Yes there they were. In the cauldron of Mutton Kozhambu for breakfast. The bride and groom on the road. Four goats pleading for mercy from inside the large vessel. Four eligible bachelors wondering what the hell is wrong with these people. An awesome sight for any onlooker at 4 am on a sunday morning.

In this already weird scene, there was a weirder proposition. As i had reported earlier, Mama was loud and clear using his mike. But there was a cross talk coming from somewhere. Equally loud that one. That one came from the giant Bose speakers next to my ears. Mama and the Music player had struck a deal to alternate their performances.

For the first time in my life I saw Telugu music interpose Mama's commentary in a marriage ceremony. It was like.

Mamo Paartha samstha duridakshayadwara.......

Akalesthe annam pedtha,alisosthe oile pedthaaaa......

Sree Parameshwara Preedhyartham.......

Mood osthe mudhulu pedtha chinnodaaaaaaaaa.....

Good God!!! This is what i heard. Promise. With a completely confused mind, i went back to my room and tried to catch up with some lost sleep. But Mama wouldn't allow me to. I took my toothbrush out and got hold of the morning paper for time pass while i keep enjoying the festivities.!!!

Now, the marriage is over and the bride and groom have had their nuptials(the consummation of their marriage).But it's better late than never.. So, please join me in wishing them a happy married life!!