No, we dont fear Barcelona, But, yes, we fear the UEFA

The general opinion in the circles of young men at the bar is more on the lines of "Bring on the special one" than something like "laugh out loud" after Arry's Tottenham Hotspur have drawn Real Madrid in the quarterfinals of the UEFA Champions League 2010-2011. On the other side of London, Carlo Ancelotti was found visiting a soothsayer to clear off some of his apprehensions. If you thought he was visiting the sages to find out his team's chances against Manchester United, you are absolutely, definitely, positively wrong. He has been reported to have gone there to find out if he himself had those mysterious powers of foretelling stuff. Not very long since he expressed his opinion on the general scheme of drawing Barcelona or Manchester United, the inevitable happened. He has ever since been wondering if what he says to executives from Fleet Street comes from some hidden part of his subconscious mind that has not surfaced hitherto in the 50+ years of existence.

Elsewhere, grapevine has got hints of people shouting "conspiracy" over Barcelona getting the weakest of the available 7 teams for a date in the UEFA CL quarters. One does wonder here, nevertheless, since it has been so for many a time in the recent past. Last year they got a team that had Manuel Almunia guarding the net. One should give some thought here. Manuel Almunia is definitely to Arsenal, what Kamran Akmal is to the Pakistan cricket team. The phrase "safe hands" has never been able to succeed in an attempt to peaceful coexistence with "Akmal" or "Almunia" in a singular sentence. So that was that. And 2 years before that, we all remember they drew Schalke. :-) Needless to say more. No, wait, it doesn't end there. They got Benfica a couple of years before that. It isn't very difficult for a man who can put two and two together to get the general drift here. But for people in my associated grapevine who are kings at the complex task of putting even three and four or for that matter, a five or six together, this one is child's play. They've deduced it all.

Having introduced to my readers, the intelligence levels of my associated grapevine, it would be to let the grapevine down if I didn't mention the other act of deduction they contrived to make. It is that, UEFA want a non english final showdown at England Football Stadiums' epitome - The Wembley. One of our reporters went on to say that he wouldn't be surprised if UEFA setup a shop in Scotland since he believes UEFA hate English Football so so much. That means, the last thing they would want to see is an all english final at the Wembley. What next? Draw the two english heavyweights together. Another one says, he was actually expecting all the three english teams to be drawn together. But a third one rightly corrected him by pointing out that football, unlike ludo or snakes and ladders, is a game where only two teams can play against each other at a given point in time and space.

So there it is. the two non english football teams which have realistic chances of lifting the trophy this year (Inter included only because of the sacking of  Rafa "he-comes-with-a-relegation-plan Benitez") have their task cut out. A place in the final is now theirs to lose. And the English giants have been pitted against each other to kill the dominance. Anyone to disagree????

The Forum that is worthwhile

From now on, I have decided I would bring the most hilarious set of comments on The Football365 Forum after every match week to this space for the benefit of 'Football Freaky' readers of this blog.

Here is the latest one after the highly anticipated ManU - Chelsea clash



"- A Man Utd team that is meant to be out of form and grinding out results played the better football than Chelsea. This is a Chelsea team that is meant to be cutting through every team that stands in their path. Man Utd will hold no worries about the rest of the season. Undoubtedly as the season gets to Christmas, Utd will hit their stride. 5 point gap or not, Fergie will still fancy his team's chances.

- John Terry must be wearing Jamie Carragher's lucky pants because he can now haul Valencia down in the box. The rest of the world calls that a penalty. A referee at Stamford Bridge doesn't call it anything!

- Deco is crap. Playing good against Bolton is not an achievement. When John O'Shea is playing better than you, it's time to consider retirement or playing in Italy.

- Jamie Redknapp needs to sack his tailor. He is wearing the tightest trousers on Earth every time Sky do coverage and if he eats anything with a single calorie in it, they will split open on live TV.

- Obertan looks like a much better buy than Nani. I know that is like saying "Sleeping with Megan Fox is better than sleeping with Vanessa Feltz" but Obertan could still be a flop. But he came on, linked up intelligently, showed a few tricks that were productive and not show pony-esque. It might be too much to hope but Utd might finally have a genuine successor to Giggs on the left wing.

- Carrick must be dreading the return of Hargreaves. Fletcher and Anderson are clearly ahead of him and rightly so. They both offer more energy, arguably better passing and more power. Hargreaves fully fit and Carrick may find himself reduced to Carling Cup & FA Cup games.

- And finally...Johnny Evans should be knighted. Any man who wins a header against Drogba whilst drop kicking him in the chest deserves the nation's respect. Especially when he gets away with it!"