For the den-(no)-zens of Hyderabad, the title means"Good bye to all the naughty boys and beautiful gals of Hyderabad"
It is difficult to love the city that you live in, a city that you roamed about for two years. But it is even more difficult to leave it. With just one week left for me in this beautiful city that introduced me into the professional world, the feelings are of a mixed kind. Though I haven't converted myself into a "Pukka Hyderavaadi laundey" (A perfect Hyderabaadi youngster) in the two years, to part ways is indeed becoming an emotional affair. I am on my way to Chennai for a new job and the feeling is good to be back at home full-fledged, after 6 long years. The downside of it is bidding goodbye to the best years of my bachelorhood. The two years after graduation have introduced me into a truly cosmopolitan lifestyle in this city which is indigenous in its own sense.
This week would be my last one in Hyderabad and I have a bucket list of things to do before I leave. I will miss all the 'maal' that the city provided me with as I am going to barren terrain on the "masth maal hai re" front. To mark my last weekend here, I did a few things from my to-do list, like the Cafe Nandini coffee and meetha paan. The icing on the cake was my best friend's visit on this last weekend. This guy made my day. I had the perfectly lazy agenda for his visit and we managed to do nothing but eat, sleep, drink and football.
I would definitely miss the Madhapur jalsas, New year highs, paradise biriyanis, chutneys lip-smackers, mana ammayilus (eligible Hyderabadi spinsters), late night masala chai, the completely useless traffic police (who have managed to milk only 230 rs. for my TN registration bike over one and half years of its usage. With TN police the number would have touched 4 digits long back.), north indian jinglis, telangana maniacs, rayalaseema warriors, colorful telugu movies, bramhanandam comedy tracks, rockview apartments, neela residency, babulal (owner sahib), Hyderabadi language, a concept called winter (Chennai does not have a season called winter), the number of audis, mercedes', BMW's, volkswagens that flood jubilee and banjara hills, a high sex ratio on the company roster (I am moving to a highly testosterone driven workplace at Chennai), Karachi bakery biscuits, road side chat bhandaars, double ka meetha (a speciality Hyderabadi dessert), tastey foods kothu barota, mutta veechu parotta, hot rotis home food, front seats on the share autos and a lot more. But the icing on the Hyderabad piece of my cake has been and will always be my wonderful time with him, him and him, my dearest room mates.
It is tough to bid khuda hafiz to the numerous friends that I have made here-at work and outside. My friends at work place who have shaped me into a professional and people outside who have given me company for all the typical bachelor matters.
But I am looking forward to many other new things in Chennai for I am going back after quite a long time. First day first shows for all tamil padams, Besant Nagar beach, ECR drives, paruppu, vatha kozhambu (Sambar variety made out of tamarind), melagu rasam, thair saadam, mom's love, radio mirchi, tamil kulavilakkus,Satyam cinemas, murugan idli shop, saravanaa bhawan, isaiaruvi (tamil music channel), sun music, adithya(tamil comedy channel), sirippoli(-do-), relatives, car driving, t nagar shopping, various kalyana sapadu menu items in brahmin marriages etc.
Nevertheless, It is time to say adios to a really beautiful city that I will never forget.
Aiderawaadi Bhai jaan, Milthao Yaaro!!!
Monday, 5 July 2010
Tuesday, 29 June 2010
A Plot, Long lost !!!
It is time I took back my words after having written off Germany in my last post after they inflicted that big defeat on the Socceroos. A sparkling performance that was...to pack off the Three Lions. Before the world cup, Fleet Street and the rest of the media worldwide had fancied England's chances this time around after they came unscathed in the world cup qualification campaign. But though it is too late to comment on that hype, it would be to state the facts plainly to remark that they got it all wrong. The world cup is always about a good team chemistry with a perfect blend of young blood and worthy experience. This aspect was completely defeated after Capello announced his 23 man squad for the world cup.
There were a number of questions about Dunga dropping Ronaldinho and Maradona choosing a weird squad. Germans were not with great odds on betting platforms with a squad that was labeled "too young". But in my opinion, those teams had their selections spot on to say the least. This world cup had two new surprises. The high altitude football and the all new Jabulani ball. Teams had to keep in mind how players would be prone to fatigue at high altitudes. Each match is a 90 minute test for a team's fitness levels and stamina. England lacked both these essentials. A half fit Rooney, Just-about-fit Barry, A dying Ledley King, An already-extinct-Emile Heskey... Epic fail. The world cup dreams were shattered right there.
Coming to a different but related observation, the fact that Germany spends a lot more money on its academy than what England spends was quite visible in the way young talent like Meuller and Oezil ran riot over the aging Terry and Barry. Speaking of that match, I would not hide my feelings for that bad decision given by the linesman minutes before half time. I would not go as far as saying England would have won it had that goal been given. Agreed... Germany played the better football and their passing was spectacular. But if the players had gone in at half time with a 2-2 on the score sheet, it would have been interesting to find out how England would have played their second half. A defensive strategy is the thing they would have resorted to, in all probability. But anyway, that is done and dusted and Germany have rightly got their revenge that took an awful 44-year long wait. They got their redemption for the infamous goal in the 1966 world cup finals.
So, coming to the long lost plot that Capello planned, it was lost right at the beginning when the likes of Adam Johnson, Agbonlahor, Muamba 'the beast', Walcott and similar young guns were left out of the world cup squad. England is not a nation void of good talent when it comes to football. What went wrong was the strategy and Capello didn't do anything different from Eriksson's failed tactics during the 2006 world cup. He paired the much-talked-about L-G midfield duo without any hesitation. Banked on Barry who I think is just too over-rated and came with a no-replacement for Rooney in case he misfired. All the wrong things that could have happened, happened. And the team was packed off at the right stage in the right manner. It is time to go back and take a look at how other successful coaches (at least till now in the world cup) played their cards. The way Joachim low used players like Ozil, Neuer etc from less known teams in Germany, the way Dunga banked on players like Ramires who weren't part of the "big" teams before the world cup. A lot to learn from these things. England's coaching staff should learn to use talent from all over England and leave the Big - 4 obsession behind when they sit down for team selection.
P.S: Sad times for England fans. Nevertheless. I wouldn't sign off as a defiant England fan trying to defend their performance in this world cup. But the question of a bad decision will linger in the minds forever and the hope for any silverware at the world stage will not die down.
An England fan now, An England fan forever!!!
P.P.S: This post is a set of observations in a generic sense, but has answers to the numerous attended/unattended phone calls that flooded me right after the Sunday big-game.
There were a number of questions about Dunga dropping Ronaldinho and Maradona choosing a weird squad. Germans were not with great odds on betting platforms with a squad that was labeled "too young". But in my opinion, those teams had their selections spot on to say the least. This world cup had two new surprises. The high altitude football and the all new Jabulani ball. Teams had to keep in mind how players would be prone to fatigue at high altitudes. Each match is a 90 minute test for a team's fitness levels and stamina. England lacked both these essentials. A half fit Rooney, Just-about-fit Barry, A dying Ledley King, An already-extinct-Emile Heskey... Epic fail. The world cup dreams were shattered right there.
Coming to a different but related observation, the fact that Germany spends a lot more money on its academy than what England spends was quite visible in the way young talent like Meuller and Oezil ran riot over the aging Terry and Barry. Speaking of that match, I would not hide my feelings for that bad decision given by the linesman minutes before half time. I would not go as far as saying England would have won it had that goal been given. Agreed... Germany played the better football and their passing was spectacular. But if the players had gone in at half time with a 2-2 on the score sheet, it would have been interesting to find out how England would have played their second half. A defensive strategy is the thing they would have resorted to, in all probability. But anyway, that is done and dusted and Germany have rightly got their revenge that took an awful 44-year long wait. They got their redemption for the infamous goal in the 1966 world cup finals.
So, coming to the long lost plot that Capello planned, it was lost right at the beginning when the likes of Adam Johnson, Agbonlahor, Muamba 'the beast', Walcott and similar young guns were left out of the world cup squad. England is not a nation void of good talent when it comes to football. What went wrong was the strategy and Capello didn't do anything different from Eriksson's failed tactics during the 2006 world cup. He paired the much-talked-about L-G midfield duo without any hesitation. Banked on Barry who I think is just too over-rated and came with a no-replacement for Rooney in case he misfired. All the wrong things that could have happened, happened. And the team was packed off at the right stage in the right manner. It is time to go back and take a look at how other successful coaches (at least till now in the world cup) played their cards. The way Joachim low used players like Ozil, Neuer etc from less known teams in Germany, the way Dunga banked on players like Ramires who weren't part of the "big" teams before the world cup. A lot to learn from these things. England's coaching staff should learn to use talent from all over England and leave the Big - 4 obsession behind when they sit down for team selection.
P.S: Sad times for England fans. Nevertheless. I wouldn't sign off as a defiant England fan trying to defend their performance in this world cup. But the question of a bad decision will linger in the minds forever and the hope for any silverware at the world stage will not die down.
An England fan now, An England fan forever!!!
P.P.S: This post is a set of observations in a generic sense, but has answers to the numerous attended/unattended phone calls that flooded me right after the Sunday big-game.
Tuesday, 15 June 2010
Worst start to the world cup days?????
Being an England fan myself, I know it feels sick to say this. But there is a better chance for England to win the world cup than for the atmosphere to get any better during matches. Yes, first of all, By jove, I missed live action from the England vs USA starter. Blame on the overdose of chemicals and scientific advancements in the field of alcohol research. Sleep got the better of me. But I did watch the highlights to find out how my team fared. Fail, they were toothless. Fat Frank disappointed with an almost nil presence. Rooney was everywhere except inside the box and Heskey should better try his hands at Indianized games like Kabbadi instead of playing football at the international level. Peter Crouch should be banned from being called a striker. Period. Jamie Carragher should be asked to run a 100m sprint alongside Don Bosco kids from Chennai. My money on the kids. Disappointment. Agreed that USA are not a bad team at all and England had a far better display compared to their previous world cup. USA also defeated a full strength Spanish team in the confederations cup. But we are talking of a team's chances of winning the world cup and on that front, England doesn't look any good.
Few observations:
1. Germany look impressive, but one should wait and watch when they play a decent enough team that is aware of a few tactics like "pressing", "man-marking" etc. in the game of football. Their midfield had all the space in the world to create chances. But they were good enough. Klose scores after a dull league season. Mueller looks great.
2. England look mediocre. Why is Gerrard made to play a defensive role? Why didn't you take Agbonlahor Mr.Capello????
3. There have been very very few goals so far in this world cup.
4. England fans made some noise and most importantly managed to outperform the vuvuzelas decibel wise. There was some sound from them. But certainly nothing from the rest of the supporters. The other supporters just can't beat the sound of the vuvuzelas???
5. Green is not a bad keeper after all. But why don't we trust in experience to deliver? Give the gloves to the dying James. Please. No more goal keeping blushes for England!! We've had them in plenty already.
6. When Miroslav Klose is so close to being the all time top goal scorer in world cups (4 more to get past Ronaldo), why are we talking about Rooney, Messi, Torres and not him???
Overall, the start to the world cup has not been the best, especially if you are an English fan. But hope never dies. Bring on Algeria. Rooney, please get back to form. Wait. Before that, please get back into the box. And somebody please prove Germany is not all that strong. That was Australia being a pot of shit. Not German brilliance.
Monday, 24 May 2010
Kannalam (Marriage) Matters!!
Yes, I am talking about those crazy Indian Weddings. More specifically the ones from the south.(No favoritism, I've not been to any North Indian ones till now. So i don't know. Promise.) How can one not love these weddings? For one thing, they bring a lot of life to the air which is filled with smoke from the sacrificial fire. For others, the Mama shouting mantras from the top of his voice, complete strangers saying Hi and asking you to identify them. But every good thing has its downside. It is not a tough thing after all. It is all probabilities, NpR's and NcR's. Shoot some names that come to your mind. These south indian names aren't myriad. You are sure to hit the right one.
Talking of these marriages, I witnessed one yesterday. The first one of its kind. It happened on the ROAD!!!. Me and my room mates were wondering since friday night as to what the preparations that kept happening in our neighbor's out-house(out of the house to be precise) were for. I mean, the sea of people setting up pandals and dealing with coconut leaves. We got our answer at 4:00 AM on Sunday morning. Yes 4:00 AM. As most of you would have expected i was sleeping and i was in the middle of a dream. But our Mama(Purohit) decided to show his expertise and chose to shout all his Mamo Parthaa's and Mangalyam Thanthunanetha's using a MIKE. I woke up and went to check out what was happening and to my surprise, I saw a marriage ceremony underway. It wasn't long before my roomies woke up to their horror and realized what was happening. The first thing we did after we were awoken by this was to walk down from our second floor apartment and find out how many were there for the function. Obviously a thing to do on such occasions on the road. The marriage party had set up huge pandals and blocked the road from all directions. There were about a hundred people to bless the bride and groom who were seated on a dais in the middle of the road.
Suddenly my friend who is a voracious non vegetarian asked me.
"Machan(A multifaceted word that in the literal sense means Wife's brother), Andha Aadu Koottam enga da? Nethi oru kootam pathome?" (Where is that herd of goats we saw last night?)
We were searching frantically for those distinguished guests amidst the sea of people when i heard one of them call out to me. I looked around. I couldn't spot the voice. I looked down. Yes there they were. In the cauldron of Mutton Kozhambu for breakfast. The bride and groom on the road. Four goats pleading for mercy from inside the large vessel. Four eligible bachelors wondering what the hell is wrong with these people. An awesome sight for any onlooker at 4 am on a sunday morning.
In this already weird scene, there was a weirder proposition. As i had reported earlier, Mama was loud and clear using his mike. But there was a cross talk coming from somewhere. Equally loud that one. That one came from the giant Bose speakers next to my ears. Mama and the Music player had struck a deal to alternate their performances.
For the first time in my life I saw Telugu music interpose Mama's commentary in a marriage ceremony. It was like.
Mamo Paartha samstha duridakshayadwara.......
Akalesthe annam pedtha,alisosthe oile pedthaaaa......
Sree Parameshwara Preedhyartham.......
Mood osthe mudhulu pedtha chinnodaaaaaaaaa.....
Good God!!! This is what i heard. Promise. With a completely confused mind, i went back to my room and tried to catch up with some lost sleep. But Mama wouldn't allow me to. I took my toothbrush out and got hold of the morning paper for time pass while i keep enjoying the festivities.!!!
Now, the marriage is over and the bride and groom have had their nuptials(the consummation of their marriage).But it's better late than never.. So, please join me in wishing them a happy married life!!
Talking of these marriages, I witnessed one yesterday. The first one of its kind. It happened on the ROAD!!!. Me and my room mates were wondering since friday night as to what the preparations that kept happening in our neighbor's out-house(out of the house to be precise) were for. I mean, the sea of people setting up pandals and dealing with coconut leaves. We got our answer at 4:00 AM on Sunday morning. Yes 4:00 AM. As most of you would have expected i was sleeping and i was in the middle of a dream. But our Mama(Purohit) decided to show his expertise and chose to shout all his Mamo Parthaa's and Mangalyam Thanthunanetha's using a MIKE. I woke up and went to check out what was happening and to my surprise, I saw a marriage ceremony underway. It wasn't long before my roomies woke up to their horror and realized what was happening. The first thing we did after we were awoken by this was to walk down from our second floor apartment and find out how many were there for the function. Obviously a thing to do on such occasions on the road. The marriage party had set up huge pandals and blocked the road from all directions. There were about a hundred people to bless the bride and groom who were seated on a dais in the middle of the road.
Suddenly my friend who is a voracious non vegetarian asked me.
"Machan(A multifaceted word that in the literal sense means Wife's brother), Andha Aadu Koottam enga da? Nethi oru kootam pathome?" (Where is that herd of goats we saw last night?)
We were searching frantically for those distinguished guests amidst the sea of people when i heard one of them call out to me. I looked around. I couldn't spot the voice. I looked down. Yes there they were. In the cauldron of Mutton Kozhambu for breakfast. The bride and groom on the road. Four goats pleading for mercy from inside the large vessel. Four eligible bachelors wondering what the hell is wrong with these people. An awesome sight for any onlooker at 4 am on a sunday morning.
In this already weird scene, there was a weirder proposition. As i had reported earlier, Mama was loud and clear using his mike. But there was a cross talk coming from somewhere. Equally loud that one. That one came from the giant Bose speakers next to my ears. Mama and the Music player had struck a deal to alternate their performances.
For the first time in my life I saw Telugu music interpose Mama's commentary in a marriage ceremony. It was like.
Mamo Paartha samstha duridakshayadwara.......
Akalesthe annam pedtha,alisosthe oile pedthaaaa......
Sree Parameshwara Preedhyartham.......
Mood osthe mudhulu pedtha chinnodaaaaaaaaa.....
Good God!!! This is what i heard. Promise. With a completely confused mind, i went back to my room and tried to catch up with some lost sleep. But Mama wouldn't allow me to. I took my toothbrush out and got hold of the morning paper for time pass while i keep enjoying the festivities.!!!
Now, the marriage is over and the bride and groom have had their nuptials(the consummation of their marriage).But it's better late than never.. So, please join me in wishing them a happy married life!!
Tuesday, 18 May 2010
Tiffin Saptela Mama?? (Uncle, Did you have tiffin?)
After a hiatus, I decided I should fill this space with something from the crap-pacura bore-o-database of mine. The last weekend was spent at Chennai as I had gone to grace the occasion of my cousin's Upanayanam (for the uninitiated, this is a very important part of a Tambram (Hip term for Tamil Brahmin) boy's career.) with my presence. It is better known as the Sacred Thread Ceremony. In even more simpler terms, it is the juncture where Tambram IT employees( a majority of the tambram population under the age group of 22-35 can be categorized here) get to meet slightly aged Mamas(Maternal/Paternal Uncles) and Mamis(Maternal/Paternal Aunties) from the family, (near, far and very far) and discuss important subjects such as the weather, democracy, politics, US Mapillais (Bridegrooms), Carnatic music etc.
It is traditionally believed that the ceremony is performed to mark the point at which boys begin their formal education. So, in IT terms, one can say this get together is prone to involve a number of Knowledge Transfer sessions from the aged to the youth. Talking of KT sessions, one such Mama asked me one such question as to why I am working in a very less known company like CA Inc after graduating from BITS Pilani, while many other cousins from colleges in Chennai have made it to big software giants like TCS, CTS,Wipro, Infosys etc. It was a googly. I knew it would be futile to explain that the company is a big one in the US and not so in India etc. So i let it go. Like in most crime thrillers and detective stories where one thing leads to the other etc and then the criminal is brought to light by a series of incidents, my conversation with Mamas took dangerous leaps. After having enquired about my inability to land a job in a company whose name is well known in the Tambram circles of South India, the aged relative decided to take a stab at my eating habits. This demands an explanation.
Scene: Dining hall, second floor.
Situation: Lunch.
Menu: Paruppu Usili(Beans with Lentils), Moar Kozhambu(Curd based Sambar), Urlakazhangu masiyal(Potato Smash), Paruppu(Lentils), Sambar, Rasam, Payasam, Vada, Appalam etc.
Immediately after the Samayal Mama(Chief Cook) served nei(ghee), i put my fingers on the vazha elai (Banana Leaf) and started licking the ghee. That act of mine is considered as 'Abacharam'(Wrong Doings) in South Indian Tambram circles and the act is punishable in the court of Tambram laws of Madi(Cleanliness) and Acharam(Neatness). Out of the many mamas and mamis sitting around me in the dining hall, atleast 23 of them noticed that criminal act of mine and exchanged disgusting looks. Their representative in the closest proximity to me called for an investigation into the disastrous habits (such as the one detailed above) which I have inculcated since leaving home post 12th standard. One thing lead to another and that sort of a thing ensued and the consortium decided that colleges these days are lacking in inculcating good habits to young fellas. As a result of which abyssmal young ch(e)aps like me are growing like weeds in the otherwise impeccable society.
Apart from the few of these untoward incidents that are very common for youths at Tambram functions, other routines were less intimidating. Four course meals, Enna da Ambi Sowkiyama?(What's up you eligible bachelor,How are you?) conversations,Iyer aathu jinglees(Spinsters from Tamil Iyer families), Hey-Long-Time-How-Have-You-Been's........ It was a wonderful get together and after a long time i met a few of my distant relatives who i thought were in Antarctica or Scandinavia. Contrastingly, they were right there in Chennai and this function gave me a good summary of the who-is-where-and-doing-what syllabus (a mandatory course in most south indian families). Besides these revelries, the usual seettu kacheri (Rummy) was in the agenda and the usual fun games like Identify that Mama in White, Name that Mami in Blue Madisaar etc were also played. A lively get together after a long long time.
It is traditionally believed that the ceremony is performed to mark the point at which boys begin their formal education. So, in IT terms, one can say this get together is prone to involve a number of Knowledge Transfer sessions from the aged to the youth. Talking of KT sessions, one such Mama asked me one such question as to why I am working in a very less known company like CA Inc after graduating from BITS Pilani, while many other cousins from colleges in Chennai have made it to big software giants like TCS, CTS,Wipro, Infosys etc. It was a googly. I knew it would be futile to explain that the company is a big one in the US and not so in India etc. So i let it go. Like in most crime thrillers and detective stories where one thing leads to the other etc and then the criminal is brought to light by a series of incidents, my conversation with Mamas took dangerous leaps. After having enquired about my inability to land a job in a company whose name is well known in the Tambram circles of South India, the aged relative decided to take a stab at my eating habits. This demands an explanation.
Scene: Dining hall, second floor.
Situation: Lunch.
Menu: Paruppu Usili(Beans with Lentils), Moar Kozhambu(Curd based Sambar), Urlakazhangu masiyal(Potato Smash), Paruppu(Lentils), Sambar, Rasam, Payasam, Vada, Appalam etc.
Immediately after the Samayal Mama(Chief Cook) served nei(ghee), i put my fingers on the vazha elai (Banana Leaf) and started licking the ghee. That act of mine is considered as 'Abacharam'(Wrong Doings) in South Indian Tambram circles and the act is punishable in the court of Tambram laws of Madi(Cleanliness) and Acharam(Neatness). Out of the many mamas and mamis sitting around me in the dining hall, atleast 23 of them noticed that criminal act of mine and exchanged disgusting looks. Their representative in the closest proximity to me called for an investigation into the disastrous habits (such as the one detailed above) which I have inculcated since leaving home post 12th standard. One thing lead to another and that sort of a thing ensued and the consortium decided that colleges these days are lacking in inculcating good habits to young fellas. As a result of which abyssmal young ch(e)aps like me are growing like weeds in the otherwise impeccable society.
Apart from the few of these untoward incidents that are very common for youths at Tambram functions, other routines were less intimidating. Four course meals, Enna da Ambi Sowkiyama?(What's up you eligible bachelor,How are you?) conversations,Iyer aathu jinglees(Spinsters from Tamil Iyer families), Hey-Long-Time-How-Have-You-Been's........ It was a wonderful get together and after a long time i met a few of my distant relatives who i thought were in Antarctica or Scandinavia. Contrastingly, they were right there in Chennai and this function gave me a good summary of the who-is-where-and-doing-what syllabus (a mandatory course in most south indian families). Besides these revelries, the usual seettu kacheri (Rummy) was in the agenda and the usual fun games like Identify that Mama in White, Name that Mami in Blue Madisaar etc were also played. A lively get together after a long long time.
Thursday, 6 May 2010
Mix Yourself some Whiskey with Soda
Disclaimer: The text that follows is not worth reading if any of the following holds good:
1. Have some work at office for which your manager is right behind your back.
2. Your wife has given you a list of things to buy and you have just lost it. In which case you will have the uphill task of remembering what was there on the list lest you will be massacred.
3. You have planned to read something worthwhile for today and have summarily rejected any content that has no substance.
4. Your day looks so busy that you have planned only a few hours of sleep.
Then please refrain from continuing as i would categorize the following paragraphs as "Something of no essence"
It would not be news to any of the regular visitors of this space as the first few posts on this blog revolved around Wodehouse and his books. I have taken a long enough hiatus from that obsession and effectively refrained from writing on that topic for a while now. The reasons for the hiatus never stand to mean that i released myself from that Utopian, ethereal world of Wodehouse. After a few of my readers reprimanded me for being so obsessed that the blog was filled with praise for Wodehouse and other related posts, I decided to take a break from those topics.
But now, i have garnered the resolve to touch upon that topic once again. No! Do not Panic. This is not yet another book review. This time it is slightly different. As I had nothing worthwhile to do at office on a nice Thursday morning, I did a strange thing. I took my notepad and started penning down a few of Wodehouse's witty ones that came to mind just then. And then I realized I had a nice list: A few good ones from the best of Wodehouse! So here they go.
"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun"
"Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse"
"A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life's gas pipe with a lighted candle"
"He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more"
"I explain this to Jeeves and he said the same thing had bothered Hamlet"
"Her face was shining like the seat of a bus-driver's trousers"
"There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine"
"I always advise people never to give advice"
"You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower."
"Mere abuse is no criticism."
"It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Aged woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required."
Now, I request readers who were erstwhile criticizing my obsession towards Wodehouse to hold off from scathing attacks by way of comments. The post is basically like a mix of whiskey and soda. One needs it at regular intervals. Hence i pictured the 57th post on my blog as an "interval" and thus filled it with this restorative combination.
1. Have some work at office for which your manager is right behind your back.
2. Your wife has given you a list of things to buy and you have just lost it. In which case you will have the uphill task of remembering what was there on the list lest you will be massacred.
3. You have planned to read something worthwhile for today and have summarily rejected any content that has no substance.
4. Your day looks so busy that you have planned only a few hours of sleep.
Then please refrain from continuing as i would categorize the following paragraphs as "Something of no essence"
It would not be news to any of the regular visitors of this space as the first few posts on this blog revolved around Wodehouse and his books. I have taken a long enough hiatus from that obsession and effectively refrained from writing on that topic for a while now. The reasons for the hiatus never stand to mean that i released myself from that Utopian, ethereal world of Wodehouse. After a few of my readers reprimanded me for being so obsessed that the blog was filled with praise for Wodehouse and other related posts, I decided to take a break from those topics.
But now, i have garnered the resolve to touch upon that topic once again. No! Do not Panic. This is not yet another book review. This time it is slightly different. As I had nothing worthwhile to do at office on a nice Thursday morning, I did a strange thing. I took my notepad and started penning down a few of Wodehouse's witty ones that came to mind just then. And then I realized I had a nice list: A few good ones from the best of Wodehouse! So here they go.
"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun"
"Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse"
"A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life's gas pipe with a lighted candle"
"He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more"
"I explain this to Jeeves and he said the same thing had bothered Hamlet"
"Her face was shining like the seat of a bus-driver's trousers"
"There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine"
"I always advise people never to give advice"
"You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower."
"Mere abuse is no criticism."
"It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Aged woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required."
Now, I request readers who were erstwhile criticizing my obsession towards Wodehouse to hold off from scathing attacks by way of comments. The post is basically like a mix of whiskey and soda. One needs it at regular intervals. Hence i pictured the 57th post on my blog as an "interval" and thus filled it with this restorative combination.
Monday, 3 May 2010
Dear Mr Joseph Vijay! Sure-Ah???? Fail
In the year 1992, Joseph Vijay...aka Ilayathalapathi(Youth Commander) Vijay, debuted as a lead actor in the movie Naalaya Theerpu(Tomorrow's Judgement). Rightly so, because the verdict was decided by then. Flop! Utter Flop! After giving a load of poor grossers to his millions of fans, he rose to fame in an anomalous Ghilli. But, slowly afterward, populace from most parts of Tamil Nadu have started wondering if he has anything at all in the place that is by and large occupied by something called the Human Brain.
I took one of the worst decisions of my life insofar while I was at Mysore last weekend. No points for guessing. The decision was to watch the movie Sura, his 5oth movie. Any normal Homo Sapien with a steadyhead would not have taken such a decision after having witnessed a few other gems like Kuruvi, Villu etc. But my wiser insticts did not prevail and unfortunately I ended up sitting in the theatre amidst a few kaili (lungi) clad, inebriated youth of Mysore. To say that those 3 hours were worse compared to my grandma's stories about Mr Yamadharmaraja deep-frying sinners in his oil container, would be to grossly understate the affairs.
The movie in layman terms was a very "different" one. Now, that would come as a shocker to people who know of Vijay quite a bit. Here goes the explanation.
Things that were different in the movie: Director, Producer, Heroine, Cinematographer, Cameraman, Editor, Light Boy etc...
Things that were NOT different in the movie: Hero, Story, Screenplay, Plot.
The movie, in simple terms can be explained thus:
for (int i=0;i=3;i++)
{
songSequenceWithDance.display();
comedyScene.play();
matrixFight.execute();
}
I am banging my head on the wall next to me as i type this and wonder what couuld have been a better choice instead of those 3 hours. A few ideas that come to my mind are as follows:
1. Search Google for 5 easy ways to commit suicide.
2.Watch this video with the repeat mode on my media player-turned on.
3. Have 10 crows caw-ing in my ears for 6 hours together and try to pen down that melody in musical notes.
4. Watch Rakhi ka Swayamvar on TV
5. Even better, watch runaway hit soaps like Kolangal, Arasi, Selvi etc.
6.Keep trying the cliche "My Name is Khan and I am not a terrorist" till i master the Kkkhhaan from my epiglottus.
Any of the above mentioned activities would have been a better choice by any standards.
Verdict: Mr Joseph Vijay can be suspended for implementing a failing formula for about a decade now. He can also me remanded to 15 days of rigorous police custody on murder charges. Ivan padangala paathu paathu, 2 maadu sethu poirukku, naalu paeruku kannu nollaya poyirukku (After having watched his latest movies, 2 cows have died and 4 people have lost their eyesight).
Fail!! Colossal Flop!! Somebody please shoot him!!
I took one of the worst decisions of my life insofar while I was at Mysore last weekend. No points for guessing. The decision was to watch the movie Sura, his 5oth movie. Any normal Homo Sapien with a steadyhead would not have taken such a decision after having witnessed a few other gems like Kuruvi, Villu etc. But my wiser insticts did not prevail and unfortunately I ended up sitting in the theatre amidst a few kaili (lungi) clad, inebriated youth of Mysore. To say that those 3 hours were worse compared to my grandma's stories about Mr Yamadharmaraja deep-frying sinners in his oil container, would be to grossly understate the affairs.
The movie in layman terms was a very "different" one. Now, that would come as a shocker to people who know of Vijay quite a bit. Here goes the explanation.
Things that were different in the movie: Director, Producer, Heroine, Cinematographer, Cameraman, Editor, Light Boy etc...
Things that were NOT different in the movie: Hero, Story, Screenplay, Plot.
The movie, in simple terms can be explained thus:
for (int i=0;i=3;i++)
{
songSequenceWithDance.display();
comedyScene.play();
matrixFight.execute();
}
I am banging my head on the wall next to me as i type this and wonder what couuld have been a better choice instead of those 3 hours. A few ideas that come to my mind are as follows:
1. Search Google for 5 easy ways to commit suicide.
2.Watch this video with the repeat mode on my media player-turned on.
3. Have 10 crows caw-ing in my ears for 6 hours together and try to pen down that melody in musical notes.
4. Watch Rakhi ka Swayamvar on TV
5. Even better, watch runaway hit soaps like Kolangal, Arasi, Selvi etc.
6.Keep trying the cliche "My Name is Khan and I am not a terrorist" till i master the Kkkhhaan from my epiglottus.
Any of the above mentioned activities would have been a better choice by any standards.
Verdict: Mr Joseph Vijay can be suspended for implementing a failing formula for about a decade now. He can also me remanded to 15 days of rigorous police custody on murder charges. Ivan padangala paathu paathu, 2 maadu sethu poirukku, naalu paeruku kannu nollaya poyirukku (After having watched his latest movies, 2 cows have died and 4 people have lost their eyesight).
Fail!! Colossal Flop!! Somebody please shoot him!!
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