The Grass is Green on the Other Side!

I'm back! or so it feels. I thought of a better come back line because this one was a particularly long hiatus from this chirpy world of small talk and polarized opinions, but couldn't do better. A come back line is more of an irony at this juncture as I would not summarize my current state of affairs as anything like the one of Earl of Emsworth after the Shropshire race for instance. It's placement season here after all. Nevertheless, I am back to writing and it feels good.Similar emotions with the title of this post as I was wondering what to name it. Cliched as it sounds, a truer word was never spoken.

The "grass" is greener on the other side. Is there a better time for the avid blogger to make a comeback than placement time at b-school? Probably not. But I ain't going to whine here as one would expect from a lesser soul than mine. It's a matter of time before the curtains would roll down on this one year roller coaster ride called b-school and I have mixed feelings about it. Sucking blood is an amusing hobby by any standards. Vampires used to do that notoriously as they say in many a folktale. But this one called b school is adept at sucking blood even more than the vampires. This bubble reminds me of that carnivorous island in the movie "Life of Pi". One makes merry now and one is left gaping for breath the next moment. It's an amusing place to say the least.

Talking of greenery and grass (as I rightly should after naming it so), though they could mean one and the same thing in some sense of the words, they are two entirely different concoctions when looked at from the "other side". The "other side" is an amusing place to be or so I understand from people who tell me to look at it from thither. Think about grades. There is the other side called learning. Think about a job shortlist, there is the other side called long term prospects. Think about money. There is the other side called true happiness. What I fail to understand in these analogies is how people flip the coin to see it from the so called other side.

I remember this day when I was in school, vividly, for various reasons. The girl I used to have a thing for during that time was moving out of town. I guess her father was in the army or something and at that time call of duty came from an "other side" of the country. So they were moving to Mizoram or some such place which I failed to place on the map during that time, thanks to me being geographically challenged. I would deceive one if I said I am any better now. But for one thing, it was far away from Bangalore, where I was picking shells at that point in life. The incredible thing about this girl under scrutiny was that she was the most beautiful thing on earth back in the day and many eyeballs rolled at her sight. I use the word incredible carefully here because, among all the eligible boys in class, she chose to do combined studies with me. Stressing upon the wise usage of the term incredible in this particular context, I would like to bring to the reader's notice here that I had a head in the shape of a full onion at that time and my brains were slightly better than that of a cauliflower by any standards. Incredible, when I come to think why she chose me! But all's not fair in this world of jerks and morons and so be it. The point here is that her last day in school was a melancholic one of sorts for many a soul. I was sobbing when I thought of the next term after summer break and the dark clouds seemed to close in faster than I could imagine. Then an interesting thing happened. It involved my best pal from school, who I hang out with solely for image pepping purposes. If my head was the shape of an onion, his was more like a soda bottle, if you get my drift. He told me many things at length, but I don't recollect much of it since it was more nonsensical than one would imagine. But one thing that he said made sense to me. He told me to look at the neighbor's lawn, the other girl from section b who was better looking, healthier and overall greener in order to forget the loss of this one.

There is always scope for some free advice to say things like there's other stuff on the other side and all that sort of gibberish. But the problem here is that it is frigging easy to say things like these (happens often in the b school classroom too, especially with these strategy professors) and bloody difficult to make anything of it.

So the story, for the curious, ended on a sad note and as I grew up, the onion on top of me grew into more of the beetroot kind and I lost chances if any to hold on to a beautiful girl since then.

The point is that this other side argument is complete bull crap and I wouldn't buy it for as cheap as dirt. But the thing about "grass" and the greenery has amused me to some extent. The other day I was reading a Wodehouse since I was completely demoralized due to a sequence of events here at b school and I came across this thing about greenery. Most of Britain according to Wodehouse tales is covered by lush green lawns with a lake here and there and beautiful couples strolling with their Pomeranian.

The part that is amusing is that they always have an air around them, these people from those country side castles. They seem to own excessively large chunks of property and sit on filthy piles of cash that their daily schedules look like this:

Wake up for the breakfast gong,
Eat till the chicken yells from inside the stomach,
Look at the blue sky and pass a comment or two about the weather,
go to the library and pick up a book like "How to fool the princess at the castle" or some such piece of literature,
Wait for the lunch gong,
Repeat step 2,
Go for an afternoon siesta,
Wake up for an evening stroll with some gorgeous girl who also sits on a pile of cash,
Wait for the dinner gong,
Double up the efforts and perform step 2 even better,
Sleep,
Repeat step 1.

When will I get to engage in such routine? Will I ever get to? As greedy as I sound, that is what one would secretly wish for. Let's face it (as my room mate here would put it). It is so funny to be dreaming of such things when one is fighting to get a shortlist (let alone a job) for a handsome pay package to pay off the huge loans post b school. But nonetheless, I want to live like those characters in Wodehouse (on the "other side" of the ocean :-P)

I said I wouldn't whine, but here I am whining in front of you, but only for two really really sound reasons.
1. There is no brighter other side. period.
2. The greens are a mirage they don't seem to up the mood anyway.

Screw the green, screw the sides, Cheer up! For in times such as these, there is "grass" (a soft pillow from mother nature to sleep on, if you got the message wrong!!!)

P.S: As lame as this post would sound, I request for some concern and pity owing to the long gap in writing. Thou shall only get better.

Beat the man to it!

"All my life I've wanted to eat strawberries in the middle of winter.Get me a basket of strawberries before the end of the month and we'll take up this matrimonial proposition of yours in a spirit of serious research." said Clarice.
"Strawberries?" said Mervyn.
"Strawberries"
Mervyn gulped a little.
"Strawberries?"
"But I say dash it! Strawberries?"
"Strawberries" said Clarice.
And then at last Mervyn,reading between the lines,saw that what she wanted was strawberries.

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Mix Yourself some Whiskey with Soda

Disclaimer: The text that follows is not worth reading if any of the following holds good:
1. Have some work at office for which your manager is right behind your back.
2. Your wife has given you a list of things to buy and you have just lost it. In which case you will have the uphill task of remembering what was there on the list lest you will be massacred.
3. You have planned to read something worthwhile for today and have summarily rejected any content that has no substance.
4. Your day looks so busy that you have planned only a few hours of sleep.

Then please refrain from continuing as i would categorize the following paragraphs as "Something of no essence"

It would not be news to any of the regular visitors of this space as the first few posts on this blog revolved around Wodehouse and his books. I have taken a long enough hiatus from that obsession and effectively refrained from writing on that topic for a while now. The reasons for the hiatus never stand to mean that i released myself from that Utopian, ethereal world of Wodehouse. After a few of my readers reprimanded me for being so obsessed that the blog was filled with praise for Wodehouse and other related posts, I decided to take a break from those topics.

But now, i have garnered the resolve to touch upon that topic once again. No! Do not Panic. This is not yet another book review. This time it is slightly different. As I had nothing worthwhile to do at office on a nice Thursday morning, I did a strange thing. I took my notepad and started penning down a few of Wodehouse's witty ones that came to mind just then. And then I realized I had a nice list: A few good ones from the best of Wodehouse! So here they go.

"The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun"

"Marriage isn't a process of prolonging the life of love, but of mummifying the corpse"

"A melancholy-looking man, he had the appearance of someone who had searched for the leak in life's gas pipe with a lighted candle"

"He had just about enough intelligence to open his mouth when he wanted to eat, but certainly no more"

"I explain this to Jeeves and he said the same thing had bothered Hamlet"

"Her face was shining like the seat of a bus-driver's trousers"


"There is only one cure for grey hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine"

"I always advise people never to give advice"

"You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you. I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower."

"Mere abuse is no criticism."

"It was one of the dullest speeches I ever heard. The Aged woman told us for three quarters of an hour how she came to write her beastly book, when a simple apology was all that was required."

Now, I request readers who were erstwhile criticizing my obsession towards Wodehouse to hold off from scathing attacks by way of comments. The post is basically like a mix of whiskey and soda. One needs it at regular intervals. Hence i pictured the 57th post on my blog as an "interval" and thus filled it with this restorative combination.

For a Change

The idea of writing a book review on the blog has always fascinated me and rightly so, I haven't hidden that little fantasy of mine for there have been quite a few of them in the past. There have been awfully long ones on History, Humor, Literature and what not.

S0, for a change, I have decided to cut the crap and write a few (really only a few) sensible lines on what i think of the two books i have read recently.

A Prefect's Uncle-P.G.Wodehouse

This was the Second book that came from this genius after an outstanding "The Pothunters".The school time story touching upon cricket, stolen money and an embarrassing uncle hits heights of humor many a time in the course of its hundred and fifty odd pages. This one is more of a progress since the first novel for him and the inimitable turn of phrases that he employs (the trademark Wodehouse perfections) are there in this book already.

The Small Bachelor-P.G.Wodehouse

Wodehouse captures an era that probably never was but many of us wish it had. He does one of his best jobs, capturing Twenties' New York at a roar in this neatly done up farce. Just like reading a screwball comedy, laughs come often and out loud! The Small Bachelor is not to be missed by any true aficionado of P.G. Wodehouse

Downtown Tadipatri !!!!~!!!!

The merits and demerits of the "Life at the Country Side" is an age-old topic and i have come to discuss the same in this space. And here I am, back from a first-hand country side Experience. This post is dedicated to my visit to a small township on a hillock near downtown "Tadipatri" where i spent my blissful weekend. Tadipatri is a small town located en route to Chennai from Hyderabad and it is worth mentioning that it boasts of UltraTech's largest Cement Plant in Asia.

To start with, i concede to the fact that "Life downtown" is always a better bet than the one which involves the hustles and the hullabaloo of the metro. As part of the "clan" at college which threw tantrums at villages and village dwellers from down south, I have been actively involved in mocking at the way civilizations have, by far, neglected those people, who we are at this point, debating about.

My weekend involved a really splendid outing to my best friend's sweet home near Tadipatri. Nature was at its best and the gated community had loads to offer when I did my first sightseeing around the township on Saturday. The greenery and the peaceful community that inhabited this township, was so new to me for I have more or less grown up in a city, brought up with all the mall culture and other typical metro offerings.

I would like to introduce the four characters in this post who would be henceforth referred to as "Sir TPJ"(Daddy), "Rchie"(Sissy), "Chota Don"(Friend) and "Aunt Bliss"(Mommy). To talk of Sir TPJ, it would be a gross understatement if i just say he is a revered gentleman who commands a respectable position at this Township which nurtures a group of little over 1000 people from various parts of the country. Aunt Bliss is a wonderful cook and she loves cooking " elaborate four course meals" "three times a day". Fresh vegetables for lunch and dinner came from nearby gardens and the delicacies straight from Aunt Bliss' kitchen are worth mentioning. Rchie is the sweet sis who is currently enjoying her summer holidays back home and Chota Don is waiting to join college for his post graduate studies.

The wonderful weekend involved the fantastic walk down the park, delicious food served at regular intervals throughout the day, Malayalam movie on Asianet, UNO Card games, badminton outing, late night wodehouse humor, hot career discussions, dinner time family chit chats, Channel V Music hits, evening time lychee treats, endless football story times and lastly, the marathon Wimbledon final to finish it off. That final was one of the best tennis matches that i have been witness to, till date. A-Rod was at his career best only to lose out to the damned luck (courtesy: Fedex's "Black Magic") at the end of the day. The 5 hour finale bade good bye to me along with this cute family of four who took up the task of entertaining me for the weekend. Needless to say they did a fantastic job out of it and i would fail miserably if i miss out on mentioning the elegant Urbana "Tie and Handkerchief set" which was my parting gift.

This post is purely a tribute to the place and people that made my weekend downtown so remarkable. When it all turns nostalgic later one day, and i go back to turn the pages of my life fervently, these two pages would without doubt be a "highlighted couple" that would keep me entrenched in emotions for ages to come.

P.S: Uploaded a few snaps

Yet Another Book Review: "Ring for Jeeves"

No matter what one might argue about PG Wodehouse's style of writing and the lack of seriousness and essence in the stories that he narrates, he is undoubtedly one of the most gifted authors who has the knack of taking his readers through a moving humorous novel each time he attempts to draft one. "Ring for Jeeves" is a typical one which is full of humor and sarcasm that offers a leisure read with all satisfaction.

The novel is arguably one of the most hilarious works ever offered, for the portrayal of characters is absolutely outstanding. In Biggar, the instrumental character in the plot, Wodehouse paints a naughty but witty hunter who plays an important role in the "All's well that ends well" climax that's in the offering. The protagonist Bill plays a dummy hero as he rides upon Jeeves' wit all through his difficulties in handling the comic villain Biggar.

What amuses me most is the way Wodehouse portrays wealthy widows in England for he mocks thoroughly upon their innocence and gullibility. The novel takes one through an entertaining ride with all ingredients of a hilarious British milieu.

The novel is a must read for light readers who enjoy the language and satiric tendencies more than the essence itself. It gives the right feel of PGW and his style of writing. A big hats off to the most hilarious writer of modern times.

Classic Two!!

Apparently, the two books that i am talking about were my latest two.

I can't read P.G. Wodehouse every day, nor would I want to. They are like a deliciously decadent and fattening dessert that you allow yourself to indulge in once every so often, except that Wodehouse's decadence lies in his luxurious, playful and masterful manipulation of the English language. A perfect day for me involves lounging on the deck of my best friend's family cottage with a Jeeves and Wooster book in one hand and a margarita in the other!

Aunts Aren’t Gentlemen by P.G. Wodehouse

As with most of the Jeeves and Wooster series, the plot of this novel isn’t as important as the language Wodehouse uses to describe the messes that Bertie gets into. Nevertheless, the long and the short of it is that Bertie leaves the city to improve his health only to find that Aunt Dahlia has other plans. An important horse race hinges on the presence of a certain cat and as usual, Aunt Dahlia wants Bertie to steal the cat so that a certain horse will lose the race and she will collect on her rather large bet. Bertie has also managed to get between a friend and his lady love and must convince the friend that he is not a threat and convince the lady that he is not the marrying kind. As usual, it is Jeeves who comes up with the cunning plan and saves the day.Lightest book that I've read till date.

Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

The novel relives the days following Caulfield's expulsion from Pencey Prep, a university preparatory school based loosely on either Ursinus College or Valley Forge Military Academy, Salinger's alma-mater. Caulfield tells his story in cynical and jaded language, frequently using disparaging language and profanity. In the end i felt i had just come across a new type of humour which is not much different than that of PGW's. But a thoroughly enjoyable book,i should say.