Dear Mr Joseph Vijay! Sure-Ah???? Fail

In the year 1992, Joseph Vijay...aka Ilayathalapathi(Youth Commander) Vijay, debuted as a lead actor in the movie Naalaya Theerpu(Tomorrow's Judgement). Rightly so, because the verdict was decided by then. Flop! Utter Flop! After giving a load of poor grossers to his millions of fans, he rose to fame in an anomalous Ghilli. But, slowly afterward, populace from most parts of Tamil Nadu have started wondering if he has anything at all in the place that is by and large occupied by something called the Human Brain.

I took one of the worst decisions of my life insofar while I was at Mysore last weekend. No points for guessing. The decision was to watch the movie Sura, his 5oth movie. Any normal Homo Sapien with a steadyhead would not have taken such a decision after having witnessed a few other gems like Kuruvi, Villu etc. But my wiser insticts did not prevail and unfortunately I ended up sitting in the theatre amidst a few kaili (lungi) clad, inebriated youth of Mysore. To say that those 3 hours were worse compared to my grandma's stories about Mr Yamadharmaraja deep-frying sinners in his oil container, would be to grossly understate the affairs.

The movie in layman terms was a very "different" one. Now, that would come as a shocker to people who know of Vijay quite a bit. Here goes the explanation.

Things that were different in the movie: Director, Producer, Heroine, Cinematographer, Cameraman, Editor, Light Boy etc...

Things that were NOT different in the movie: Hero, Story, Screenplay, Plot.

The movie, in simple terms can be explained thus:

for (int i=0;i=3;i++)
{
songSequenceWithDance.display();
comedyScene.play();
matrixFight.execute();
}

I am banging my head on the wall next to me as i type this and wonder what couuld have been a better choice instead of those 3 hours. A few ideas that come to my mind are as follows:
1. Search Google for 5 easy ways to commit suicide.
2.Watch this video with the repeat mode on my media player-turned on.
3. Have 10 crows caw-ing in my ears for 6 hours together and try to pen down that melody in musical notes.
4. Watch Rakhi ka Swayamvar on TV
5. Even better, watch runaway hit soaps like Kolangal, Arasi, Selvi etc.
6.Keep trying the cliche "My Name is Khan and I am not a terrorist" till i master the Kkkhhaan from my epiglottus.

Any of the above mentioned activities would have been a better choice by any standards.

Verdict: Mr Joseph Vijay can be suspended for implementing a failing formula for about a decade now. He can also me remanded to 15 days of rigorous police custody on murder charges. Ivan padangala paathu paathu, 2 maadu sethu poirukku, naalu paeruku kannu nollaya poyirukku (After having watched his latest movies, 2 cows have died and 4 people have lost their eyesight).

Fail!! Colossal Flop!! Somebody please shoot him!!