Manam Irundhal Margabandhu (If there's a big heart, it has to be Mr. Margabandhu)

It is very uncanny that I have a striking resemblance to this character called Margabandhu. In general, full length comedy movies in Tamil have had an impact on my actions and my words. The title of this blog post is one that has been carefully hand picked from Vasool Raja MBBS (Munna Bhai MBBS) for the tamil challenged and the indi padam maniacs. The character is known for his huge heart and heavy patience. The point I am trying to drive home is that like him, even I seem to have a really huge heart and with it I seem to display a really huge amount of patience at certain times. One such time is during the India-Australia series 2011-2012.

In the same movie Vasool Raja, a follow up dialogue goes like this "Margabandhu Mudhal Sandhu". This one is senseless by and large and doesn't qualify as one for which I should write an English translation within braces. But the point is. it's a well timed dialogue that seems to convey the emotions one goes through when one is in really deep waters. December 26, 2011 was a significant day for me as an ardent cricket fan and much like many other purist fans of this game, I woke up before the cock and waited anxiously for the proceedings to start in the much spoken about boxing day test. The first day was really going India's way until Sachin succumbed through his bat pad gate to a wonderfully bowled delivery from Siddle. It was a heart break for many fans who were waiting for his most talked about hundredth ton. But the situation was such that one could manage to move on because the day arguably belonged to India and the Indian top order had to an extent lived to their hype.

One such day never came again in the 2 and a half tests that we've seen ever since. The sad part is, even after so much, I don't seem to give up. I know I am not alone in this and I am well aware that many more Margabandhus around have wasted their sleep hours at dawn. But mark my words Maarkku, we have been foolish. Test after test, the script has been the same. It has now become all too familiar now. Still, we have not given up. It is the third test in the series and Indian batting has been in the same Thakkali(Tomato) Soup that it has been in for the past 3-4 weeks.

With very sad emotions gushing through my heart after a disastrous start to this tour down under, I wish to make a few points.

1. Indian batting shall never ever be deemed as one of the most formidable. Period.
2. Indian bowlers are not to be spared. They are equally complicit because they don't seem to bowl consistent length and line like their Australian counterparts.
3. Why is Dhoni talking about 2015 and all? If logic remains and fairness triumphs, he should be on his way to Ranchi sometime towards the end of 2012. Luck is a good thing and it can cling on to a person for astonishingly long whiles. But it can't get longer than this.His period at the helm is almost over.
4. Sachin Tendulkar will score his hundredth century before retiring. Let us put to bed any apprehensions about that fact.
5. Rahul Dravid has had a changeover ever since England. If I remember right, Venkatesh Prasad used to close his bat pad gap better whenever he came on as nightwatchman.
6. When India dropped Ashwin for the third test, they dropped their most in-form batsman and with that they resolved to fall short of 120 runs across two innings.
7. If you have forgotten this fact, India were world number 1 in tests 6 months back.
8. I will wake up tomorrow morning also and see the first session with some hope. A brand new day, A brand new approach and all that sort of hopes.
9. I have a big heart and hence my name is Margabandhu (Maarkku)
10. If you have a big heart too and if you could be called Maarkku, don't shoot yourself, it's ok. Ivanga eppodhume ipdi than (This Indian team is always like this).
11 And, Finally Maarkku brothers, we shall never walk alone. Zaheer, Umesh, Ishant, Vinay, Ashwin....they are also in our club only. They have a big heart, if you get my drift.

Image Courtesy : Cricinfo.

Why this Kolaveri Singhji!

Long since I wrote...It has been a hiatus...I have been busy with other things and the usual blah that I start with can now go here....

Once we are on terms, here I am back to writing and it feels good to be back after the long break. I said in one of my previous posts that I might race Sachin and write my 100th post before his ton. To give a status update, I am on track. The man apparently paid homage to all time cricket great Sir Donald Bradman by getting out on 94 after 99 centuries. For people who missed the pun, Don Bradman retired with a test average of 99.94. Today morning was one of sorts. No, actually not. It has been of this sort for the past 8 or so months ever since he scored his 99th against South Africa. I woke up to some cheer and was looking forward to a day when Twitter and Facebook would be loaded with tons of posts about tons. But I was disappointed to say the least.

Ok, after going on tangent from the decided topic of writing, as ever, we get to the matter now. One Mr. Harvinder Singh is making news after he made a super double whammy. He first slapped former Union communications minister Sukhram and now chose the other big portfolio in the Indian cabinet viz. Agriculture and selected Messrs Sharad Pawar for the double. Anna Hazare's reaction to the sequence of events was astounding actually. He first asked "Only one slap??" and later went on to condone the scathing attack. The attacker interestingly said "Sab Chor Hain!" post his second act of bravery after getting past meager security for Mr Pawar. Media is full on about this juicy topic and debates about the ethical aspects of such an act are heatedly progressing.

Amidst so much for just a slap, one of my friends posted on facebook that he is more than willing to offer him a home in Chennai. I find that argument very sound right from its basics. Alexander once said something about home for the poor and Darwin or someone else in that league, (I don't remember) said about the fittest surviving on this planet. Now taking the two together, the chap is poor. Consider that he is a cab driver hailing from Delhi.He is fit and that fact is proven by his demeanor and physical stature while he goes on to extend the right hand on Pawar's angled cheek. Argumentatively, he is both fit and poor. So he should survive and he needs a home. Security guards thrashed him immediately after the incident and took him somewhere. I suspect they would have driven straight to some garage or some dilapidated mill (Like the Binny mill that features in almost all climax sequences of South Indian movies). All odds point to a good round of slaps and kicks and it is just a matter of time before he would be nabbed or shot in an encounter for what he has done. So Harvinder ji (I respect the fellow, forget ethics, he has all the guts in the world.) needs a home and a safe one at that.

At Kasturiba Nagar in Adyar, one such home exists for the area is well protected from all sides. For instance, there is the Buckingham Canal on one side, Fortis Malar hospital on the other and to add to the amenities and facilities, Adyar Fast food is located close to the aforementioned residence. A big hospital is safe and secure as explained and portrayed in movies like Ramana in Tamil and Tagore in Telugu. A patient who gets in never gets out. The other source of security namely the Buckingham canal is home to all kinds of reptiles to be found in South India and taking umbrage of such a large water body would keep searching special investigation teams away from snooping owing to the danger portended by the rich variety of fauna in that kind of terrain.

Choosing a place like Chennai might not work too well for a Punjabi mainly because of the non availability of Parathas. But one can make do with Parottas that we Chennaiites have on offer and talking of Parottas, Adyar Fast food which is located at a stone throw's distance would definitely come in handy. Another plus point about calling Chennai a safe haven for Slapping Singhs is the fact that it is far from Delhi and is a place that induces fear in a majority of North Indians living on the other end of the deccan plateau. (If all south Indians are Madrasis, I wouldn't be too wrong to classify the north of Deccan plateau as North India. Geographically pardonable I would say.). Pawar and Sukhram, or a bunch of yadavs and kapoors who form part of their security teams would find it difficult to reach their target in Chennai. With Chennai and Kasturba Nagar chosen for providing Harvinder with a safe home, what we are offering is nice 3BHK apartment, a good cook in her, a good hearted supporter in him and two fierce dogs in Sussee and Gabbar (3 feet tall and 2 feet wide labradors who have been fed to the brim with all good meat and cereals). A well founded idea. It would help the poor and fit survive in this country.

One may now ask me, "Why this Kolaveri" for writing such a very very kolaveri post. But that's the buzzword folks.

Lastly, I would like to thank Vijay Venkataramanan for triggering this idea behind the post.

16 Conclusions after the WC final

I love the idea of 16 conclusions after each football weekend (mostly the big ones) on football365 and I thought it is worth doing one after the biggest thing in cricketing history for India. Here it goes....

1. Sachin, thank you for bringing it at last. You might have failed in the final match. But it was under your guidance that the chaps could pull it off

2. Kirsten, You are just Legen....wait for it.....dary

3. Gambhir, Salute, what an innings..but next time apply some thought to personal accolades too. Now you've lost a massive chance to tell your grand children about that one century

4. Zak, You are still the best bowler we have had in the past decade. It's ok to leak a few runs like you did towards the end. You gave the dream start anyways

5. Do not call for a review again in your life Mr Sehwhack, unless Sachin tells you to.

6. Virat, you have the class. We are waiting for your time to come. You will take center-stage one day.

7. Dilshan, you took a brilliant catch, but then stop shouting those dirty things. Takes the class out of that brilliant moment when you grabbed it.

8. Sang, Kudos....you were a gentleman, unlike Shahid, who blew it after reaching home.

9. Malinga, try a hair cut...might work out for the next final. Your team can't lose three in a row.

10. Mr Srikanth, Never ever pick Mr. Santhakumaran for a one day cricket match.

11. Ashwin, I like your down to earth approach. Do not get heavy anytime and there's future.

12. Yuvi, you were the most aggressive in this tournament. You were just loved and I am sure your roster of female fans is going to reach the size of the 2G scam initial report that the CBI have submitted for the judges to read (80000 pages)

13. Captain Cool, Don't listen to Musharaf. See, it paid off....(P.S : I ve turned gay since April 2, 2011 after that six and that head tonsure.)

14. Indian team, Our domination has just begun. The country wants to keep this going for longer than the Australians kept it with them.

15. Virat Kohli's statement about carrying the master on our shoulders was the best of all reactions that day. Goosebumps...Really!!!

16. Readers, we've bleeded really light blue...and that has worked...time to bleed yellow now...Bring on the bharat bandh!