We will "Roo" that in Janurary. All in "Wayne"

I was tossing and turning in my sleep last night as I was trying to figure out the inexplicable reason behind Rooney's decision to leave the club. Given the fact that Rooney made his intentions clear on August 14th (Just as the Premier League started), it all goes back to two major events of the past.
1. The big English flop in South Africa (especially after the Algeria game).
2. The Bayern Munich quarter final clash back in April.

Come to point two as it seems to have a lot of significance. Consider that Rooney was rushed back almost immediately for the 2nd leg and he ended up getting kicked by Demichelis so many times. He got taken off in the 2nd half and from then, he failed to recapture his form and couldn't score goals. Now continuing on the same lines to point one, That form was brought over to South Africa and he couldn't produce. I am not able to conjure up a better line of reasoning for this shocking announcement doing the rounds in the tabloids everywhere. If Rooney is leaving on this inexplicable reason, he is a disrespectful disgrace. All Fergie did was at his best interests at heart.If resting the fella too many times is the cause for all this s**t, God save that angry sweet potato, son'uva b***h.


Moving on to the next important thing that's everywhere, I don't see United getting £50m for him. not when he has 18 months of his contract left and has already stated that he won't sign another contract.And that leads us to the next million dollar question. Where next? Manchester City?Chelsea?or the usual suspect Real? Wherever he goes, I am pretty sure of one thing. Life will not be easy for him elsewhere.


 To cut a long story short, I dont see any major problem between United and him (apart from the two minor ones I discussed at the beginning. They shouldn't matter though.). Opening a completely new line of reasoning, I think he is mixing his personal life with football. And...........If he is so foolish to be doing THAT, He should go. And see what other clubs will do when he hits a bad patch. This club has respected him, nurtured him, supported him, believed in him. No other club will give so much space and exhibit so much tolerance like United did to that very talented, short tempered ASS.

And now folks, Does this mean we have to truly, madly, deeply love Berbatov now?

Dimiflop Berbaflop..said who?????

I know the count runs into double digits, when one tries to figure out how many times I've said "It's been disastrously long since I wrote in this space" or something of that description, but here I am saying something of that sort once again. Yes, It's been a long hiatus but no points for guessing what the topic is..this time around..coz it's obviously 'football'. Yea, you got it right. This one is not as obvious as the beating that Chelsea gave Blackpool this weekend. But it is obvious nevertheless. What are the bets that they would score something less than 4 in any game this season? It's been a really great start for Chelsea fans around here. They've high five'd- and said cheers almost each time the ref's whistle blew for full time this season.

Coming to the point after some digression as is my wont one too many times on this blog, Dimitar Berbatov is a legend. I have been one of those people who've always said "Dimi can't head the ball" and Dimi would be a better bet at the Chennai marathon each year than inside the 6 yard box. I remember reading in one of the post match reviews last weekend or so that Dimitar's Fleet Street name was soon to become 'Dimiflop Berbaflop'. Yea, you got it right. I read it at F365. Where else?

Back to the betting odds about Chelsea scoring fewer than 4 goals, when shall we see a difficult game for Chelsea this season? anytime before November? This has been an incredible fixture list for the blues and that is adding to the woes of the under-performing Uniteds and Arsenals. To include the fourth of the celebrated "Big 4" -  for Loserfools as well. Though they surely look destined for a UEFA Cup qualification fixture once again, they still are a part of the celebrated Big 4 bandwagon and Chelsea are making life difficult for them too.

Cutting short on the tangent once again and coming to the main matter, a second scissor kick in as many matches. What's happened to that guy? For virtually the first time in his career as a Red Devil, Berbatov got a standing ovation when he walked off at the 84th minute after that brilliant hat trick. United fans have been waiting for this day patiently and as sages have pointed out time and again, patience is a virtue and sometime or the other, it is sure to bear fruit. I had goose bumps when the crowd roared as he walked out of the theater of dreams after accomplishing a feat that goes straight into the record books. 64 years after Stan Pearson did it, DimiTAR BerbaTOV scored a hat trick against United's biggest rivals.

It may have taken two years,

But Welcome to Manchester Mr Dimitar Berbatov!

Paul Scholes for Player of the Year!!

I rolled through the pages in this blog and was trying to find out how I have been gibbering around over the 2 years of writing. I noticed I have written very few posts about football, though about 5 hours of my day in general go by reading through football columns/watching football/discussing football with colleagues and friends. That came as a surprise to me. What was even more surprising was the fact that I haven't written about my love for Manchester United much either. For people who don't understand the seriousness of that thing, the depth to which my love for that Football Club goes can be understood by the fact that I am devising a strong plan to convince my future life partner to think of Manchester as a honeymoon destination. A trip to Old Trafford on the itinerary of course!

Manchester United became one real obsession for me because of this guy from school, who is coincidentally rubbing his shoulders against co-Man United fans at Old Trafford right now. Paul Scholes was the star of the then United team that he was vouching for. He showed videos and gave boring lectures about his genius and other such things.(the choice of the word boring is not a surprise because for a 'not-yet-a-football-fan', these lengthy sessions are sure act as sedatives.) But yea, I became a fan soon enough and went around shouting: my favorite player was Paul Scholes.

I know it is not any occasion to talk about Scholes right now since the time is not too right viz. he has not just hung his boots or won the ballon d'or or something of that sort recently. But his masterclass is the main talking point after the curtains went down for the all exciting Premier League season 2010-11. Ferguson selected the same front six - Valencia, Fletcher, Scholes, Nani, Berbatov and Rooney - for the opening-weekend clash with Birmingham last August. But Scholes yesterday didn't look like the Scholes then. A lot of media love-in is being bestowed on our 35 year old master. Paul Scholes for Player of the year? is a question that doesn't become too irrelevant. More so after having witnessed how Ryan Giggs won it last April after just 12 league appearances. In my opinion Scholes looks the best player in the league when he plays. But the thing to worry about is the fact that he starts only half the league games in any season. 38 in the last two combined - statistically. He hasn't featured in the tried and tested 4 man midfield games against top opposition. That's a fact I have to agree, but he is definitely a "pass master" like SAF put it after Monday's match. No doubting his vision and skills.

Scholes was an unused substitute in United's first loss last season against Burnley. He then returned to the starting line up for the ensuing weekend's match at Wigan. Which United won. 5-0. Go figure. Ok, after I have hyped up so much, I know what you are driving at. He cannot tackle and he has seemingly never realized that he cannot. Those are the two bad things about him. But which other English player in the last twenty years has controlled and decided games form the midfield better than Scholes?

Paul Scholes for Player of the Year!!! Anyone???

P.S : My blog clearly demanded some space for my favorite footballer and here I go. This one is for posterity. I'd definitely look back at this one after his career at United.

Ipdi than irukkanum nu sollala...Ipdi irundha nalla irukkum nu solren....

Continued from part 1......

Ila, Anbu, Shri, Arul....All wazz well....It was a really joyful experience for all the four in each other's company. Hyderabad was turning out to be a nice outing for the four till Arul and Shrikanth had a nasty blow with their job taking a sudden twist. Life became tough. They had a top level management change suddenly. The change was for no good and Arul, Shri were not able to be their own self. Police vela avangaluku torture aga aramichiduchi (Their policeman job started taking a toll on them). They could not be the ilankandru's (young saplings) they used to be. They started looking for a change.

They wanted to move out of Nizam's city which was no longer peaceful with them. Anbu and Ila were trying to clear government examinations for their promotions at the same time. The four tigers started looking out for missions elsewhere. By this time Shri had taken an important decision in his life. He decided to put a full stop to his endless extravagances with Swathi. This figure (the case in point) started showing her true colors. Tea kadai chaais got promoted to coffee day outings. "Leaning on bike under a dysfunctional lamp post and chatting to glory" affairs improved into long bike rides. With petrol fares raised every full moon day in this country, these developments were not easy to bear with. Shri chose to run a long distance gilfosica so as to cut down on expenses.

Arul and Shri started going out on the roads with the IVVTP (Ilam valibargalin Velai thedum padalam) motto...Ila followed suit. He was bored of the same assignment day in and day out (mosquito smashing and seat warming). Ila found a new assignment which looked promising in the 'filling of purse' matters. Anbuchelvan was tired of those promotion exams in which he could not get even half of the pass mark. So, Anbu followed Ila and jumped into the FoJHB(Fraternity of Job Hunting Bachelors).

Nothing drastic till here. The thing that has been hyped up to such a level in these two posts came when "Late a vandhalum latest aa vandha" Anbu got his new assignment outside Hyderabad. There came a point in time when the Tamil Tigers Eelam had to disintegrate. Alas, Anbu was moving out of the team. He was moving out of the team that made him look formidable. He was moving out of Hyderabad. Yes, now we have the climax.

Climax started like this : Anbu treating all and sundry in Hyderabad who were friends/friends' friends/mere acquaintances. As is the case with treats given by bachelors, the OH content started increasing. An interesting thing about these treats which are replete with OH content is that 'emosanal disucusans' start becoming a common feature. The team started feeling the after effects of Anbu's loss already. In general, a widely accepted opinion is that a team that looks like "Ila, Anbu, Arul and Shri" is formidable. But come to a team with Ila, Arul, Shri sans Anbu..Fail...It is no good whatsoever. The young saplings started getting weaker. But all was not over. The climax had a twist. When the rest of the team had just learnt to digest the fact that they would be one man less, they were struck by another massive blow. Politics played by Shri's immediate boss resulted in Shri being transferred to "thanni illa kaadu" (waterless forest). Shri was moved to another department. He was on his way to Chennai.

A team with a high potential had disintegrated. Now they were not just one tiger less but two tigers less. Anbu and Shri are in Waterless Forest (luckily the same waterless forest viz. Chennai). But that was not any respite. As I had told earlier, a team that looks like "Ila and Arul only" is not even close to formidable. In fact, grapevine suggests that Arul could also be on his way to some waterless forest very soon. That would make our lone fighting tiger Ila battle it single handedly.

Now, coming to why I chose that title.... I ain't saying the team should be separated. It would have been good if they had not disintegrated.

                                                               THE END....

How Ila will manage to survive, does not fall into the scope of this story. And the script for that one is in progress.

The Cast: (As Promised)

Pradeep Sekhar C as Anbuchelvan
Praveen Kumar D as Ilamaran
Manigandan Parthasarathi as Arul
Thiagarajan Ravishankar as Shrikanth.

Story, Screenplay, Direction : Pradeep Sekhar C
Stunts: Manigandan Parthasarathi
Visual Effects: Pradeep Sekhar C
Comedy Tracks : Thiagarajan Ravishankar and Praveen Kumar D


A "I am Kannan, Bachelor, Monthly 20 thousand salary" production.........

Naanga 4 Paeru..Engaluku Bayame Therila.

Disclaimer: Characters in this story are completely real and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely intentional.

Department la engala ilankandru nu sonnanga (We were known as the young saplings in our department). We were the untouchables.

This post is dedicated to four bachelors referred to as Anbuchelvan, Srikanth, Arul and Ilamaran hereinafter. 

It was the year 2008. Anbuchelvan was still in college and was full of young blood. Hyderabad reckoned and he was on deputation in the notorious city for one year to go. Srikanth and Arul were also about to join him very soon. Anbuchelvan had found a lonely place in Madinaguda near Chanda Nagar for their hideout during the period. It was a very awaited beginning. It was not more than one week that Anbu had spent alone before his team joined him. Ilamaran was not a part of the team then.

Life progressed for the young tigers and everything was smooth till one night when the unexpected happened. Shrikanth and Arul wanted to move out of Madinaguda. Their work was demanding and they had to stay close to their workplace. It was a risky job. They needed to be cautious. Once again Anbuchelvan was left to deal with his enemies alone. The team disintegrated. But only for a short while. Anbu could not bear solitude and he decided to move in with Shri and Arul about a month later.

Shri was a notorious young officer. His character was like Kamal Hasan in Panchathanthiram. In short, he was the "dude" among the three. Swathi came into his life very soon. She was from Orissa. Shrikanth being the dude, had no problems in maintaining figures from various states in the country. He was the "language no bar guy". But there was a downside to their love story. Like most modern jinglis (beautiful girls) of India, Swathi never took her purse out whenever they went out. This was a big blow to Shrikanth. He could not manage that big a hole in his purse and was put into a "Finance Problem Machi" at the end of each month.

Arul was known to be the diligent officer of the three. He was duty conscious to an unexplainable extent. But this was how people thought about him. His true colors came out when he was sent to Bangalore for an encounter. He showed his skills by "line putting" for 3 kulavilakkus (South Indian sirens). Anbuchelvan who was with him for the mission soon found out about Arul's leelaigal (naughty behavior). But the encounter was not a failure and Arul was undoubtedly the most ardent of the three.

Then came Ila into their lives. Ilamaran was the most intelligent of the four. He was the kingmaker. He devised sketches for encounters. He was an encounter specialist. He was the one who laid out sketches for all weekends throughout the team's stay in Hyderabad. His plans showed variety. They ranged from Anjappar tactics to Chutney tactics to Taste(y) the cyanide to Idly kadai warfare. Though he was so brilliant at work, Ilamaran had one weakness. He was fond of eating. He used to eat 16 palm-sized idlis for breakfast. When Anbuchelvan noticed this weakness and warned him of his pot belly which would disrupt his challenging missions, he did not yield. He lied to the team that he ate only 4 palm sized idlis. God Promise.

Readers should not think of Anbuchelvan as the "Good Man" in the team. The above paragraphs definitely portray him as one. But he was a "thiruttu bemani" (notorious rascal). He was more experienced than Shrikanth in figure matters. He was the headmaster in the school that Shri went to. He used to have false encounter cases in Bangalore for obvious reasons. He had a harley davidson 125 cc bike that he used for fishing in hyderabad waters. He tried his hands on many "kazhuvara meens"(fish that are being washed) with his HD 125. But all of the "meens" were "nazhuvura meens" (Fish that slip from hands).

Ila, Anbu, Shri, Arul....They were the untouchables. Though they have been portrayed with many weaknesses in their character sketch, they were a strong team. They were a formidable force. Arul, Anbu and Ila played football sometimes. Anbu thought (still believes) he is a right winger and likens himself to Cristiano Ronaldo. Ila is a strong defender. He was good at "break-leg-take-ball" tactics and hence defended very strongly. Arul was made of a very weak physique. He had a few skills to add to his kitty. But they were no good against Ila's break-leg...tactics. Shri was into football too. But he did not take his expertise to the field. He was content with pressing 'W' to give through balls and pressing 'D' to shoot (FIFA '07). Nevertheless, he was a prolific goal scorer (on the computer).

It was a really joyful experience for all the four in each other's company. Hyderabad was turning out to be a nice outing for the four till something really sad happened.....

To be Continued................. Part 2 here

P.S: Cast of the "Police Story" would be detailed after part ii of the series.

P.P.S: If the story did not make sense to a reader due to the high suspense quotient in the content, our team offers an apology. We shall try to make things clear in part ii of the series.

Pakistan's antisocial networking

As I draft this post, the number of common websites on the internet that have been forced to shutdown in Pakistan has touched double digit figures. Insanity on the part of bureaucrats in Pakistan has rocketed to such a level that "In the name of Allah", they've decided to ban these websites : Yahoo, MSN, Hotmail, Youtube, Google, Amazon, Bing, Facebook, Twitter, In the name of Allah and Islam Exposed. Some of the above websites do have derogatory content and are sure to hurt muslim sentiments undoubtedly. But Google, Yahoo, Bing, Amazon.....I cannot convince myself as to how they would have conjured up reasons for blocking them.

In general, human IQ is not even comparable with that of many other varieties of fauna on earth. It is quintessential for any brain to tell a cat from a dog or a hen from a donkey or some such obvious thing to qualify for human standards. Going by that argument, I can't find human brains in the failed  state of Pakistan. These things utterly make the issue insane. What these guys fail to understand is the fact that by banning these websites, they just make people more curious. It is like adding fuel to the fire. That observation is well supported from the fact that Pakistan tops the list in the number of porn or porn-related searches on the internet everyday. For people who haven't come to realize that porn is a contraband thingy, please be aware: Porn as such is banned in many countries around and yea, in Pakistan too.

There cannot be an internet session where one does not use Google search or one of Google's other numerous products. Google is so synonymous to the internet that the phrase "banning Google" can be equated to the phrase "banning Internet". Such policing-of-the-internet stuff has already been proved as a failure in countries with like-(no)-brains such as Saudi Arabia. On a philosophical note and in a generalized sense, "Any idea will have takers and naysayers". So from that point of view, Internet, being such a huge place, it is truly blasphemous to block a search engine on the grounds that it returns search results on derogatory content. Before we come to debate about the derogatory content, lets think about what Google could have done about this thing. A search engine will function as it should. If you don't like it, don't search. Simple. Banning the site?Blasphemous. And back to the content part, what could Bush do when the internet was replete with videos and articles like this, this and this? Answer: Nothing!.

I am not any expert on Islamic studies or anything of a religious sort, but for basics, I know one of the tenets of Islam is about tolerance and patience. These guys do not understand their own religion even as much as I do. What's more intriguing is: I noticed one chap who supports the decision saying:

"Good news, Google is just an Spy agency who work in favor of the CIA. as well as Yahoo and other shit american websites who trying to damage Islam image.

Down with America"

It gets even better, another guy says banning search engines like Google, Bing, Yahoo per se - is a very good decision but he wants the legislators to give him "an alternate way" to search the internet. Lol! I wonder if entrepreneurs will sense an opportunity here. Anyone up for a start up in the search engine domain?? ROTFLMAO.


I am not able to comprehend that. Some one help me here. I think Pakistan is caught in some time warp and are yet to be welcomed into the 21st century.

P.S: I could not resist the temptation of putting the picture of THIS hairstyle here as pointed out by Vijay.

Calling for an extradition: Joel Stein

Joel Stein of TIME Magazine is who I am referring to in the title. For people who are caught unawares at this point, News channels are full of him at this moment. So switch on and check that out. For more accessibility, one can also click on this link and see what Joel Stein had to say about Indians at New Jersey in his latest column for TIME.

Firstly, Stein's attempt at a "hilarious" column has not been taken very peacefully by many Indians in America and outside. Coincidentally since his article revolves around 'Edison' in New Jersey, Kal Penn, an Indian-American actor decided to call his article as 'unique and groundbreaking' as Alva Edison himself. Now that observation was a one in a hundred (Noothla oru vartha in Tamil). Stein talks about Multiple Gods with multiple arms and elephant faces and says he did not have any racist intention. Multiple laughs and Multiple applauses please. Sigh!. Indian brains/heads were laughably characterized as "dot heads" and Stein, in his apology (that followed an outburst in the media) says he didn't mean to deride Indians. Now I really wonder if Stein had all of his sense in working condition when he wrote those shameful lines on that column and I wonder if he was in his senses at all when he tried to defend himself in the apology. I would advise Mr. Stein to visit downtown San Francisco and see the white drug addicts on the roads (his fellow American citizens) before calling immigrants 'dumb cousins'.  Half of America is dumb and that argument holds good for any nation. Not everybody can be 'not-dumb'.Infact, most of the Indian Americans in the current context are clearly part of a creamy layer from the country. This opinion is well supported by a recent surge in the positions of power that Indians hold in and outside the government of the United States.

The attempt as it has been labeled is definitely an attempt at humour and I would expect we guys take it in its hilarious sense rather than calling names at him. But targetting one immigrant occupied town and its people is a little bizarre for such a faous national magazine. I get reminded of a TIME magazine cover way back in 2006 with a gorgeous girl in dotted bindi. The cover page title was " Why the world's biggest democracy is the next great economic superpower." Anyway, there isn't much to talk about it sitting few thousands of miles away. Let us officially declare Stein as a "White" and deal the rest with him in person. Extradite him to India. We'll show you what the real, democratic and soon-to-be economic superpower India looks like.